Here’s where I admit, I don’t enjoy writing any type of non-fiction..including those boring bits and pieces about my own life. Okay, I may have mentioned that before but I’m trying to reconcile it in my own brain. Lifestyle blogging just isn’t for me anymore. I have too many restrictions placed on me by my family which makes talking about things almost impossible. The only way around that is to turn what’s going on into pieces of fiction. No harm, no foul…or however that saying goes, right?
So, how is an ex-lifestyle Mommy blogger supposed to continue on with her blog? And what’s the point? Because, while blogging about real life just isn’t an option anymore, giving up on the whole blogging experience just isn’t something that is plausible. It’s become part of my…well…lifestyle. I’ve struggled with this before. And often. And trust me, my friends, it really is a struggle. Especially when you’ve been blogging since the dinosaurs roamed the earth.
A lightbulb moment for me was what I mentioned earlier. Making non fiction into fiction. Sometimes. When I can get away with it. But, then I wondered how I was planning on staying motivated…how was I going to keep on blogging when really, the only blogs that seem to really find their way to popularity are those who write about their lives. Or recipes. Or DIY. Not really fiction writing. And not the type of blogging I’ve really done before. I’ve dabbled unsuccessfully, of course. And by unsuccessfully I mean..recipes aren’t what I enjoy writing about. I do like reading them, though!
Also, I’ve tried to bring back the Kingdom posts. But, those just aren’t resonating with me anymore. And, if they don’t resonate with me, they won’t with anyone who stops by here, either. They were fun when my kids were younger but, well, they are almost grown now. They recognize themselves in my blog, even when their names have been changed to Princesses or Princes. And also, what the heck..they read my blog.
Then I realized I’m not sure I care about all that. Maybe 8 years ago, I did care. I wanted to be popular. I wanted people to like me. I mean, I still do. But really…in the end, all I truly care about when it comes to this blog, is about the writing. Sure, I love comments. I always have. Don’t we all? We like our words to be appreciated, praised and even criticized. The comments help us understand how and if our words have the desired effect. But, I just need to write. Words. Stories. Fiction. That’s what makes me happiest.
And then, there’s the whole number game. The amount of traffic. The followers. The likes. The shares. Those are numbers that drive us to the brink of insanity. Why? Why do I..why do WE..keep doing this to ourselves? To monetize? Yeah, there’s that. To hopefully go viral? A word that I despise. But yeah, there’s that too. Because that means we are doing something right. That our words, our feelings, that we pour out..whether as a fiction or non-fiction post…meant as much to our readers as it did to us. It’s nice to be appreciated. To see those numbers of shares on the social buttons climb. It’s sort of a thrill. And it keeps us motivated to write more.
Well…it used to.
I’m trying really hard to lose the Mommy blogger mindset. To stop apologizing for only having fiction on my blog. I’m trying to reconcile the fact that, when selecting what type of blogger I am when signing up for BlogHer, I have to choose ‘other’ now. Because, there isn’t a ‘fiction writer’ option. There should be. Even though we write fiction on our blogs, we are still bloggers.
For so long, I’ve been struggling with rebranding. I’ve been trying to figure out where I fit into the blogging sphere nowadays. But, it’s been there all along. In fact, it’s sort of par for the course of my whole life. I don’t fit in. I never have. I never really will. Just like when I was in school. I was pretty niche-less there, too. A little bit of this, a little bit of that.
But, unlike how I was in high school, when it sort of depressed me that I didn’t feel like I truly fit in anywhere…I’m okay with it. And I guess the whole point of this post was like an affirmation for me. I don’t have to fit in anywhere. Because, if I’m happy writing fiction, then that’s where I belong in the blogsphere.
And, if by some chance I start writing lifestyle posts again that aren’t masked by fiction, then that will be okay too.
Because here, in the world of the Internet, there’s room for everyone. Even ex-Mommy bloggers who have found their passion in writing stories that have paranormal creatures or women with itchy vaginas. it’s perfectly fine.
I think, for the first time in a long time, I’ve found my true niche within the fringe. The outskirts. The peripheral. There are a lot of us here. I’m finding more every single day.
We don’t have to fit in to fit in. Because, in the end, all that really matters are the words. And suddenly, just like that, as I write out this post, that’s truly enough for me.