Age is just a number. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that a million times. And, I do agree. It is a number. Only, not just. Sure, 40 is the new 25. Or, in my case..45 is the new 29. But, I’m not sure my body got the memo.
Signs I’m aging:
- Did you hear that? That, my friends, was my neck, back, hips and ankles simultaneously cracking as I went from sitting to standing.
- The music of today..isn’t really what I’d call music. Oh sure, there are a lot of bands I like. Only, not the ones my kids listen to. If you can even call that noise they make a product of a band at all. In my day, music was music!
- Lines, lines, everywhere there’re lines. My facial features are starting to be connected through an intricate weave of fine lines. I squint and my entire face becomes a road map. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad but those things weren’t there a couple years ago. Or maybe they were but I’m just able to see them better because I have to use a magnifying mirror to put on make up.
- There’s no such thing as jumping out of bed or jumping into the shower. I have to maintain some semblance of caution otherwise something will go out. Namely, my back. Or my hip. Ouch.
- Home sweet home. Once upon a time, I lived for NOT being at home. The more I went out and was busy, the better. Now, nothing beats staying home, day or night. In comfy pants. With a good book. And, a glass of red wine (it lowers the cholesterol.)
- My mind unleashed. I speak it. My mind. Instead of being my old-school passive-aggressive when something bugged me, I now am able to open my mouth and let the words spill out. Especially if something is pissing me off.
- Bathroom habits. I am thrilled when I have a week of regularly scheduled bathroom visits. Generally, a cup of coffee does the trick. Only, not so much anymore. Hence the excitement when that cup of coffee actually serves more than its caffeine intended purpose.
- That baby-train has left the station. I can finally look at babies and not have an overwhelming desire to make another one. But then, I get terrified because within the next 10 years or so, my children will be depositing their children at my doorstep.
- Dates. I freak out when I see signs at the bar, when I actually go to the bar, that the legal drinking age is almost the same age as my children. How did THAT happen?
- Grunting, huffing, puffing noises. Me when I rise up and when I lay down. See also #1. I’m a noisy person.
- Twits annoy me. Mostly teenaged twits. And, I can’t believe I was like that once. But, I was. And I apologize to myself and those who I may have infected with my twittiness.
- Fifty shades of grey accurately describes various shade of hair in various areas of my body.
Not to mention that I’m constantly asking people to repeat themselves because I can’t hear over the ringing in my ears. Or maybe it’s because I’m not paying enough attention. Middle age has brought on a raging case of ADD.
Thankfully my bladder is still holding its own. I think I have a few safe coughs and sneezes left. I’d cross my fingers but my joints have been bothering me.
Oh, and I still have all my own teeth.