This morning, the only sounds in my house, aside from my nails hitting the keyboard is the whir of the washing machine and my dog snoring.
The first day of school is here, putting an end to the worlds’ shortest summer break in the history of summer breaks. This is the first year, in a long time, that I didn’t want school to start. This is the first year, in a long time, that I didn’t mind having everyone home.
All good things must come to an end, right? Not that our summer was particularly good. We didn’t do all that much.
Except for one pivotal thing. A monumental moment that will change our entire family forever.
We took our oldest daughter and most of her stuff, loaded everything into the car and headed toward college.
She is a Freshman at one of our local Universities.
My mind is blown. And, I’m sure many of you who are there right now or who have already done that, you know what I’m feeling.
I’m not sure I even have the words to describe it.
I keep backspacing to erase insignificant descriptors.
I wasn’t around when my daughter…my stepdaughter…was born. I stepped in when she was five. She was all freckles, toothless and the biggest blue eyes you have ever seen. That little girl gave me no choice but to fall in love with her from the moment she sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.
I’ve loved her since the very moment I met her.
I’ve watched her grow into an insanely beautiful and incredibly smart young woman and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
She’s my daughter. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t birth her. She’s mine. Yeah, I have to share her with her real mom but that doesn’t matter either.
I’ve been with her for some of the biggest milestones a girl ever hits. I won’t embarrass her by naming some of them.
The biggest milestone in her 18 years, however…college.
She was scared.
My heart ached for her because once we left her in her dorm, she had to face her fears alone.
Thank god for texting. And FaceTime. And modern technology that wasn’t around when I went to college. At least we could try to talk her down.
She’s attending the same University I went to. Only, I went for two years before dropping out.
Dropping out isn’t an option for her.
I won’t let it be.
Some words for my daughter as she begins this new chapter in her life…
I’m jealous of you. You have your whole life in front of you and it’s filled with endless opportunities. So many that you’ll have to pick and choose wisely. And some of your choices will be total failures. But, that’s okay…it’s part of the whole learning process.
We can’t expect you to know who you want to be four, five or even 10 years from now. That’s part of what makes this crossroad difficult. That’s part of the reason I left college. Explore your options this first year. Take what you’re passionate about and head in that direction. I don’t think you’ll be sorry, that way.
Be choosy. It’s okay. Be picky. That’s okay, too. The choices you make now are some of the most important ones, they will be most defining. Not all your choices will be wise ones and some of them will be the most incredible ones.
Stick with it. Don’t do what I did. Don’t find the first good excuse that comes along at a weak moment and use it to bail. I don’t want you to wake up at 45 years old and be weighed down with regret.
Have fun. And here, as your mom, I’m obligated to remind you not to have too much fun. Because, I don’t want you to get into trouble.
Make a variety of friends. There are so many kids from so many places, you can learn from them. The sheltered area you grew up in has taught you to be too judgmental. Try to overcome that. Use those huge eyes to see past the surface and listen to that incredibly sweet heart of yours, too.
Keep in mind that the end of the world is temporary. Big deals aren’t always so big once you wake up the next morning. Remember to breathe through the pain. The stress. The negative thoughts. They are temporary blips, fleeting moments in the scheme of things.
Be cautious but don’t be scared. You can’t live your life always fearing for what could happen. Just be aware of your surroundings. And, if you have a bad feeling about something, listen to your instincts.
Always remember we are a phone call away and only a 40 minute drive. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night. Nothing matters more than you do.
Never give up. Use that stubborn streak and see this through till the end. I want you to be able to choose your career and never have to settle for a job. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
I wish I could remember all the wise words given to me by my mother. She always had the right thing to say at the right time. Okay, sometimes it was at the wrong time but that doesn’t matter. But, I can’t remember so all you get is what I’ve got.
Just know this. You are so loved. We are so proud of you. We will stand behind you and support you in your studies and your path. It may seem so scary right now, everything is so new and unexplored. But, you’ve got this. I know you do. In a couple days, when the haze has lifted and you can see more clearly, it’s all going to look so different. I promise.
You are exactly where you need to be at this point in your life.
You’re going to be just fine.
The sky is the limit.
And if you feel like you’re about to fall…
I promise you, we will be there to catch you.
Always.
Forever.
P.S…Take good notes in class, pay attention to the teacher and don’t study last minute for tests.