To My Children,
I love you.
And that is what sometimes makes this mothering thing scary.
There is no feeling more powerful…and powerless…than the love I have for you.
You accuse me of not remembering.
The problem is, I remember. I remember all too well.
I remember doing things I shouldn’t be doing.
I know you’re doing the same.
And then you try to hide it from me. Sometimes, you don’t hide it too well.
My inner-teen can sniff it out.
Because I do remember.
You accuse me of being too overprotective.
I laugh because MY parents were overprotective.
I vowed I’d never be as stifling as that. I promised myself I’d find a happy medium.
I think I have.
You feel otherwise.
And, you know what? That’s okay. Because I’m your mother and I said so.
One of my jobs as a mother, one which I take very seriously, is to keep you safe.
I know that I have my work cut out for me. You’re teenagers.
I can’t control everything.
Sometimes, I can’t control anything.
I don’t try to control you, though.
I try to teach you. To guide you. To help you.
That’s not control. That’s responsibility.
Responsibility born from a passionate love.
I ask questions. Sometimes, you think I ask too many questions.
But, I ask because I care. Because I want to know.
I need to know.
Because of how much I love you.
The more questions I ask, the more details you give.
But I’m safe.
I’m not ever judging.
We can problem solve, celebrate, laugh, cry…
Or, I can just listen, nod and hold your hand.
I am here. For you. Always.
I’m not your friend. I don’t try to be.
You have your friends.
I’m your mom. Your mommy. Your mother.
More importantly, you are my child.
It’s a lifelong commitment that I made and you’re stuck with.
No matter how overprotective, prying, nervous, overwhelmed I get…
I am always here.
Just like my hyper-overprotective parents were for me.
I am having a hard time letting go.
I didn’t expect your childhood to swoop away so quickly.
I’m still reeling.
I’m still trying to catch up emotionally.
I still see you as my little babies.
Even though I know you’re not.
Not even close.
But yet, you’ll always be just that.
Even when you’re my age.
You’ll always be my children. My babies.
I will always worry.
I will always be protective.
I will always be on your side.
Even if I don’t agree with you.
And I will tell you if I don’t agree with you.
But, I will stand by you with whatever decisions you make.
As long as you’re happy.
Just be happy.
Be happy in whatever way that means to you.
You’re growing too quickly.
I guess I am too.
I just want you to know how much I love you.
How happy I am to be your mother.
How grateful I am to have had you in my life.
How wonderful I think you are.
How proud I am of you.
How unique I think you are.
How excited I am to see what life has in store for you.
Just like the book I used to read by Robert Munsch..
You’d sit on my lap and I’d cry as I read it.
You’d look at me with wonder…why is your mom crying when all she is doing is reading a book.
I cried because there are no truer words…
I love you forever.
I like you for always.
As long as you’re living.
My babies you’ll be.
PS. Just do your chores, please.