So, I was surfing the web via my emails last night, which turned out to be expensive, by the way. I ended up purchasing an Android tablet from NoMoreRack but it was only $62 including shipping. For my kid, not me. Because I believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the obnoxious. Apparently. Hm…the things I learn about myself when surfing.
Anyway. Digression. Back to the point.
In my perusing of the web via email links, I ended up downloading this PDF from Writer’s Digest. In it were prompts to kick that wicked block. So, I told myself…Self, you’re gonna do this. Get back in touch with your creative side which has been on hiatus for far too long. I’m trying to convince my Muse to pack up her luggage, drink a couple more of those frou-frou fruity drinks, get fanned a bit more by the cabana boy and come home to me. She’s thinking about it. In the meantime, I have to prove to her I’m ready to get busy.
So, I’m going to prove it to her. Muse, this is for you.
Dear Creativepation aka Blockage of the Writer’s kind,
It’s not time. You need to be gone. I have no more room for you in my life.
You see, once upon a time, I had ideas flowing to the point of insanity. I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Of course, I forgot to write half of them down but, that’s another story for another time.
Listen Pation…I can call you Pation, right? I am at this point in my life where I have so many other things blocked and I really need at least ONE thing flowing well. And since this creative writing thing is one way for me to relieve myself AND make a tiny bit of cash…you and I need to be through.
I wish I could say that it’s been lovely while it lasted. Truth is, it hasn’t. Any type of blockage is very uncomfortable, trust me. And that big lump in my throat and chest, the one caused by you stopping my ideas and words from flowing out easily? It just can’t happen anymore.
I’m going to ask nicely. Please…be gone with you. Find somewhere else to go. I’m afraid I’ve let you overstay your welcome, you’ve gotten far too comfortable sitting here like a lump of poop. I mean, sheesh…we haven’t even gotten to know each other. You just sit there, not speaking, glaring at me while drinking your drinks and smoking your smokes. That is NOT gracious houseguest behavior.
If you don’t leave quietly, I’m going to have to use brute force. I’m not sure what that means but I’m not afraid to figure it out.
So, not-so-dear Writer’s Block…
If you would be so kind as to be gone within the next 24 hours, I’d be exceptionally grateful.
And, no offense, of course. But, you are not welcome to come back. I just don’t see any reason to carry on our acquaintance, there was no benefit on either of our ends. Well, maybe yours…it gives you sick pleasure to cause this writestipation, doesn’t it?
Don’t answer that.
You know where the front door is.