I consider myself to be a decent enough mom. I’ll bet my kids would argue otherwise but it’s their job to think I suck. I figure they’ll come around. Eventually.
There is definitely open conversation that goes on here. I try to get my kids to talk to me about everything. And, in turn, I try to guide them to the best of my capabilities, which sometimes isn’t good enough. But, I try.
When all my kids were young, their struggles were easier to deal with. Ish. Sometimes, all it would take to make them feel better was a kiss on their boo-boo. A hug. Ice cream.
Now that their older, and they are in the throes of hormonal teenageritis, it’s not such smooth sailing.
I give advice. I let them talk things through with me and simply nod my head to acknowledge I hear them. I mean, crap, I’ve even thrown condoms down onto my kids dresser.
But right now, as I watch my oldest son struggle with the fact that he and his girlfriend are headed toward a break up, I totally realized there was definitely something I forgot to mention to my kids.
And as I listen to my daughters cry because it seems like all the other girls have boyfriends and they can’t understand why they don’t…
It doesn’t like it would be comforting to any of them if I only shared these two words with them…
Not just from the perspective of parenting them because yeah, that isn’t such a walk through the park either.
Teenagers suck all around.
Especially when it comes to relationships.
I forgot to tell my kids about how fickle teenagers are.
I forgot to mention the fact that who a teenager loves today won’t necessarily be who they love tomorrow.
And it is rough to be on the unrequited end of that.
Especially if you still have feelings toward the teen who doesn’t feel them toward you anymore.
And I forgot to tell my kids that it’s okay not to be in a relationship.
Because teenage relationships, on the most part, are an inevitable heartbreak.
I forgot to mention to my kids that it’s not them.
It’s their age.
It’s part of the whole growing process.
One of the roughest parts, for sure.
I had forgotten to let them know that their broken hearts WILL mend.
Even when it feels like it won’t.
I forget to tell them that this will happen, again and again, until they find the right person.
And the first heartbreak is always the worst.
Although, not necessarily.
It is one of the most memorable, though.
Not in a good way.
Because most of them aren’t emotionally equipped to handle mature relationships.
They are immature even though they don’t think they are.
Being a teenager sucks.
I think I forgot to tell them that, too.
But I’m not sure it would have mattered if I remembered to share any of the information with them.
Because, it wouldn’t matter.
When you’re a teenager and you’re experiencing all that teenager stuff…
all the tidbits your parents share with you…
it’s insignificant anyways.
Because when you’re a teenager and you’re in the throes of being a teenager…
There are no amount of words. Hugs. Or ice cream. In the entire world…
That can possibly soothe away the pain and angst of teenageritis.
And there is not enough wine in the world that can help a parent whose heart is breaking for their children as they watch them wander down a path they had already taken, years before.
We know it sucks.
But there is no amount of love from us that can fix it.
Someday, our kids will have to watch their kids go through teenageritis.
And our hearts will break again for our child.
And our grandchild.
As bad as teenageritis sucks.
It seems that parentingitis isn’t any easier.