I need your stories!

2 weeks or so before our wedding, my husbands ex-wife decided…for whatever her reasons…to sign full custody of their two children over to my husband. Yes, I’ve written about it here on my blog, many times before, so many of you already know this little tidbit of information. But, it changed the course of our lives. I wasn’t expecting to go from full-time mom of 2 to full-time mom of 4. And, I don’t think any of the kids were expecting something like this to happen. Ours is a happy ending, as I’m sure many are. Thankfully.

We always hear stories of dads leaving. And, many of us think “what an ass” and compartmentalize it because…dads seem to leave more often. But, when a mom leaves…whether permanently out of lives or like our story, signs over custody but sees the kids when she wants to, it’s always a bit more shocking. Because moms don’t leave. I mean, how could they? They carried these children within their bodies, how could they just walk away from them? It horrifies us. (UPDATE) I didn’t mean for that statement to offend and sound judgmental, it wasn’t my intention. I want to add…it’s time to change the stigma attached to moms leaving. I’m not talking about the dead-beat mom, I’m talking about moms who felt they were doing the right thing by having the father raise the children. Moms who still see their kids all the time, who are active participants in the child’s life but they just don’t live together the majority of the time. Or, perhaps moms who felt that their presence in their child’s life wasn’t best for them so they opted to not see them. Whatever the reason, I would be honored if you shared your story with me.

The other evening, when I was taking a shower…because many things occur to me in the shower…I decided I want to put together a book of real life stories. Stories shared by others. Women who left their children, for whatever reason. Stories from grown children who were left by their moms. And stories of those who were left to raise the kids, like dads and stepmoms.

This book will be essays, short stories, poems and memoirs from people all over the world. I hope.

So, I need your help, please.

If you know of anyone who fits the description above or if you are someone who happens to fit into that description, I am in need of your stories.

They can be anonymous or include a bio with all your contact information, I don’t care.

This book is going to be a judgement free zone for those of us who need to tell our tale.

I’m looking for about 100 stories, they can be as long as you need them to be, they’ll be edited, I’m sure. I know mine will have to be because GOD KNOWS I can’t punctuate to save my life.

I’m not sure which route I’ll take yet, traditional or self-publishing. I mean, great if it gets picked up by an agent, once I have a proposal written and some chapters done…

Please, my friends, I need your help to get this book done. I need your stories!

If you’re interested, please shoot me an email letting me know! melissabrodsky at sbcglobal dot net

Thank you.

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5 Responses to “I need your stories!”

  1. Jami says:

    What about moms who WANT to leave, but don’t? Moms who are at the end of their rope, who don’t want to be a mom, anymore, who hate it, as a matter of fact – but stay because they feel morally obligated?

  2. I think it’s a terrific idea for a book. If I can think of anyone I am sending them your way, asap. Wishing you all the best!
    Jessica @FoundtheMarbles´s last [type] ..5 Life Lessons from the Dojo

  3. Jennifer says:

    You’re right. It is shocking. And I don’t understand it at all.
    Jennifer´s last [type] ..The weight of three

  4. Paula says:

    or grannies who are taking over for those dead-beat moms. I sent you an email
    Paula´s last [type] ..What’s In a Name?

  5. Middle State says:

    As someone who retained full legal and physical custody but who ended up with the short end of the parenting stick for many years, I lived the stigma. I did what was best for my child. Her father had a strong, loyal support system, work flexibility, and a strong desire to parent his child. At the time of my divorce, I had no support system and no work flexibility. Of course I wanted to have her all to myself, but that was not realistic. I had to rebuild my life, including creating a new circle of people I could trust. Trust takes time. I was terrified of placing my small child in the care of total strangers. Now that she is an adult, she has told me she is OK with how it all played out. I know when she was young she was traumatized by it, but we all worked hard to heal the trauma. Eventually I was able to swing the custodial arrangement in my favor. Trust me, I was scorned by many, including family, for not having majority custody of my child. In many ways, this is narrow and sexist thinking. I know many wonderful, loving and nurturing stay at home fathers as well as divorced, custodial fathers.

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