Making choices.

Fate, Destiny and Choice: In which I ramble


Before I begin this post, just know that it might actually offend some of you and by no stretch of the imagination is it on purpose.

I was talking to my daughter this morning before she left for work. One thing I love about teenagers is that they can carry on intelligent, adult conversations. Sometimes it shocks me when I realize that I’m talking to one of my kids and not an adult peer.

We were discussing a lot of things this morning. One of which was fate and choices.

She believes that much of our live is guided by something that was already written. Things happen because they are supposed to.

I disagree.

Completely and utterly.

Sure, I think that sometimes someone throws in an obstacle to keep you out of a complete disaster. But…

I firmly believe that your life is controlled by you and the choices you make. Saying that it was fate, destiny or whatever…is oftentimes used, in my opinion, as a crutch or cop-out because it’s easier than letting blame fall on oneself.

We were born with the ability to make decisions.

We use that ability.

Right or wrong, we make choices that affect our lives…good or bad, positive or negative. What happens is a direct result from the choice we made, not because it was already written.

Professional athletes become professional athletes because they are talented and work hard. Same with actors, musicians, doctors, police, teachers…

I don’t think it has to do with a God.

Sorry, I just don’t believe.

Maybe, perhaps, if I had a blind faith in God, I’d have a different mindset. Then again, I think not. Fate, destiny and God are all separate things to me.

I don’t think, for one second, that any God would create a path of self-destruction for someone to take, a path where every choice made is either bad or worse. No, that’s on them, the person making those choices.

I believe in coincidences, yes. Sometimes, they are strange. I’ve met people through coincidence, people who have become close friends. But, after coincidental meeting, it becomes a choice to continue building a friendship or relationship of any sort.

I sometimes thinks life works in mysterious ways. Yes. Sometimes eerily so.

I believe that SOME THINGS…not everything…happens for a reason. As proven throughout history. I mean, what was Hitlers divine reason? Or Bin Laden? Or what about serial murderers or mass shooters? No one sent them down that path…it was all on them.

Things happen for a reason, on occasion. After that, where you decide to take it is your choice.

I don’t believe in soul mates or that Fate and Destiny chose one person on this planet that is for you.

WE make those choices, armed with past experience, and hope we chose wisely.

We make choices to stay with abusers, that’s nothing to do with Destiny or Fate.

We make choices to do drugs or take ballet or write or key cars in a parking lot.

We make choices on who to date and who we marry.

Who else would create paths like some of those except for the person walking it? One foot in front of the other, the path in front of you is uncharted and unexplored, the path behind you has nothing but your own footprints, blood, sweat and tears. You decide which direction and hope it’s the right one. And if it isn’t, you back up and go the other way, hopefully that way is right. If it isn’t, you can’t blame God. It’s not his fault. It’s not Fate, Destiny, Serendipity…none of their fault.

It’s just the way it is.

Good or bad, ugly or beautiful.

Easy or difficult.

Right or wrong.

You just have to hope that whichever way you choose turns out OK in the end.

Life is life.

Choices are hard but they are yours to make.

You just have to live your life making choices that you hope are the right ones and use the wrong ones as a learning experience, what not to do next time you are faced with a similar situation.

You choose to believe what you want to believe, which I’d never argue with your belief just because I believe differently.

And that, my friends, is what I wholeheartedly believe.

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