OK, I give up. I have to write this before I explode or implode, whichever comes first.
I don’t watch the news, typically. It’s all about shock value and there is no real substance anymore. Sorry to all my newscaster friends but that’s how I feel. I get most of my news via social media platforms, like so many of my friends do.
And yesterday shook me to the core.
I can’t wrap my brain around it. I don’t want to. I can’t go “there”. It hurts too badly. And this is coming from someone who, on occasion, gets upset by news but then can usually shake it off.
I can’t. Not this time.
I’m a mom.
Little kids whose parents gave them breakfast, kissed them, told them how much they were loved and then sent them off to school.
Like what we do, every single weekday morning.
But, unlike us, these parents will never see their kids again.
And that kills me. I can’t stop thinking about this. I can’t stop the lump in my throat from forming.
I’m a mom.
I have this obligation, this need, this urge to protect my children from harm. It’s the Momma Bear thing. The force is strong.
I also have this false sense of security that, when I send my kids to school, they are as safe as they would be when they are home.
Well, maybe not THAT safe. But, still.
I realize bad things can happen. Despite that, I have myself fooled into thinking that it won’t happen to my children. Or in my community.
It’s time to remove my head from the sand, I’m not an ostrich.
The fact is, it CAN happen in my children’s schools. In my husbands school. In my community.
Because Michigan now has given “adults”…18 years or older, the right to bare arms wherever they want. In schools. In daycare centers. In assisted living homes. In houses of worship. Wait, sorry, you have to be 21 to carry a concealed pistol but 18 year olds can have rifles, shotguns and anything that can’t fit into a pocket.
Wherever. They. Want.
Places that were off-limits at one time are now a free-for-all. Hello, Wild West.
And, I’m not OK with this. Not at all.
Granted, there are probably more good guys packing heat than bad guys. I really, really want to believe that. But regardless, there are still bad guys. Guys with guns who are mentally unstable. They are walking around in the same places my children are.
I read something about the fact that most of these senseless tragedies…the guy with the gun had a license to carry.
I don’t need to go into detail about what that means. It’s obvious.
I feel helpless.
I feel like, in the end, I really CAN’T protect my children.
Once they leave the bubble-wrapped confines of my home, I feel like they are walking, moving targets.
Yesterdays events shattered me. Finding out about the Gun Law modifications in Michigan made it worse.
I feel almost like I did on 9/11.
Right now, I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel like my children are safe.
I know, in time, I’ll adjust. Just like I did after 9/11.
I just need to wrap my head around all of this.
And hug my kids tightly. Very tightly.