Another round with ADHD

My stepsons first grade teacher called me into school one day. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out into the hall. She begged me to get him on medication for ADHD, she had never seen anything like this in all her years of teaching. He’d wander out of class and she’d be forced to go look for him, he was disruptive, he couldn’t ever settle down and focus. He was off the charts.

I think the entire school rejoiced when we finally had him medicated for ADHD and some other issues he had.

While he became flat, as far a personality goes, he was able to focus. That was good. Everyone was happy.

Except him.

And…

Except, when he came home, he brought this dark, murderous cloud with him. A cloud that grew bigger as darker and he got older.

I hate ADHD meds, particularly when they are wearing off. For some, while they are in effect, they are a necessity.

Now he’s almost 16 and hasn’t taken meds since this past summer. What a different kid, I’ll tell ya!

But now, we are about to start this ADHD journey all over again.

This time, with my youngest son.

When I was pregnant with him, I knew he had ADHD even in the womb. The kid didn’t know how to control himself, even in the cushiony confines of my uterus.

Now, he’s in 3rd grade. We’ve been tossing the medicating idea around for some time.

Well, we decided to have him tested at school. And testing they did.

It confirmed what I’ve known since he was in my tummy.

He’s off the charts. “Clinically significant” is the term used. “At risk” is another term thrown in the mix.

He can’t focus. He can’t stay “on task” without being redirected…constantly. He’s easily frustrated and hyper-sensitive. He’s moody.

All typical symptoms of a kid with ADHD.

So, it starts again.

My head hurts just thinking about all the med switching, mood changing days, weeks, months ahead of us.

My baby.

My little Momma’s boy.

Meds, I know, are sometimes a necessary evil. But, OMG, they can be nasty bitches. And they can change a child. I’ve watched it happen with my stepson.

The thought of watching my youngest child darken saddens me.

But, it’s something that has to be done in order for him to be a more successful student. And also, to help him socially, to strengthen his impulse control so he doesn’t do and say inappropriate things that cause negative attention to himself.

I know, ADHD isn’t the end of the world. There are tons of kids medicated for the exact same purpose. And, they all live through it.

Again, it’s something I watched. I already lived through.

We are lucky that there are no other co-morbid conditions that affect him. It’s simply ADHD. Or, not so simply. It’s not the worse thing that can happen.

But it’s still kind of sitting on me and breaking just a little piece of my heart.

No parent wants anything, even the slightest thing, to be wrong with their child. We all want our kids to have happy, positive childhoods with no obstacles. Unrealistic, wishful thinking.

If medication is what it takes, then so be it. Medication is what he’ll take.

He’ll get through it. We’ll get through it.

His school will rejoice over the fact that there is one less kid bouncing off their walls.

So, here we go again. We meet with the doctor next week. He’ll begin medication shortly thereafter.

We know a bit about what to expect. Although, each kid responds differently to each medication. Hopefully it won’t be a long trial process. Hopefully, there won’t be any darkness or moodiness.

Hopefully, my happy, moody, impulsive, frustrated, hyper-sensitive baby won’t disappear, only to be replaced by flatness.

Hopefully, this will help him down a path of academic and social successes.

Because that’s what it’s about, anyways. Helping our kids achieve their hopes, dreams and successes. Even if there is an ADHD blip on the radar. With the meds and behavior modification, he’ll learn to navigate around those blips…

I hope.

And to my husband, who didn’t believe me…I hate to say this but, ITYS.

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