Write On Edge Prompt: Rain

I’m joining in on the prompt over at Write On Edge today. It something to do with “rain”.
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I shiver, nerves like spikes running through my body.

As I remove my pants, I notice my hands, so red. My wedding rings, covered with blood and brain matter they looked like growths, nothing resembling the 3 carat, Princess cut diamond and matching wedding band that symbolizes eternal love.

The profound reality of my actions began to set in and my stomach lurches.

I try to take deep breaths but give up, I can’t seem to catch them to take them. I turn on the shower. I pray for its iciness to wake me from this nightmare.

Opening my mouth, a sob escapes, as does the sushi and sake from the sympathy dinner with my friends. I stand still, letting the clear, cold droplets rain on me. I watch as the innocent water becomes burdened red and then pirouettes down the drain.

The gossip mill churned creating a snowball effect of texts and phone calls. Friends, concern mixed with morbid curiosity, checking in to see if I’m OK. How could I be? My husband. My best friend. I was suddenly a cliché. What makes it worse, she’s a yoga instructor, a profession known to create wrecks of homes.

Melanie, Lydia and Stella, all feeling awful for me yet relived that it isn’t their husband, decided to take their poor friend Molly to dinner. Because sushi and sake cure all.

The more I talked during dinner, the more the anger churned until I could no longer see straight. Nathan had no idea I knew, he was away on business in Europe, or so he wanted me to think. European business was taking place at Natalies’ condo where they were spotted intimately drinking wine on her patio by a neighbor, who is also a friend.

Dinner done, hugs given and phone calls promised, my car found its way to Natalies’ house.

Lights on, two silhouettes embracing, becoming one. They were there.

Heart lurching. Blind rage and betrayal boiling over.

I parked a street over and ran in the shadows, Glock in pocket.

I hesitated before knocking. Natalie opened the door, shock registered on her face, as does the first bullet. Fragments of skull and brain, from such close range, became part of my evening clothing ensemble.

The second bullet hit Nathan between the eyes. He didn’t have time to be impressed with the accuracy the shooting lessons had taught.

I ran.

I drove.

I wait.

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10 Responses to “Write On Edge Prompt: Rain”

  1. Jennifer says:

    I love a good vengeance story.
    Jennifer´s last [type] ..Morgan, Part 2 {Red Writing Hood}

  2. Jennifer says:

    This was really well structured, you impressively got a whole moment, a whole story in just 400 words. The sake and sushi details were great, both at the beginning when they are coming back up and as she is consuming them with her friends. In particular I thought this line really nailed it: Melanie, Lydia and Stella, all feeling awful for me yet relived that it isn’t their husband… so brutally true, like the whole piece was.
    Jennifer´s last [type] ..When We Miss

  3. Imelda says:

    This was beautifully written. Oh, the tragedy of betrayal…
    Imelda´s last [type] ..WAR

  4. Ami Grey
    Twitter:
    says:

    Great details…great story…I want to read more!
    Ami Grey´s last [type] ..A Soft Rain

  5. Gigi says:

    Loved it. Really and truly; awesome.
    Gigi´s last [type] ..Lessons Learned (…or you know you are getting too old for this)

  6. angela says:

    Ahhhh, I see now (I read Jennifer’s first unintentionally). I think you do a really great job capturing the dynamic between friends, the feelings of betrayal, and then the immense reality of what she did hitting her all at once in the shower.
    angela´s last [type] ..Just After Dawn

  7. Katie says:

    Well structured, as I read I knew what was going to happen, yet hoping it would not. Vengeance sometimes looks like justice.
    Katie´s last [type] ..Rain on the Window-Write on Edge

  8. Tessa says:

    What irony, the shooting lessons he had taught. Loved it!

  9. Whoa. I think the thing that struck me most was the fact that she called him “best friend.” Clearly there’s been either self-delusion going on…that, or the betrayal is even worse than she thought. Very powerful writing.

  10. Cameron says:

    I’m with Jennifer. The small details make the big story so much more impressive.

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