I decided to post here today instead of my summer home in the .org-dom. This blog gets a bit more traffic, much of it is from the area I’m in. And, to be honest, my area is the demographic I’m trying to reach.
As badly as I want to call out these girls I’m about to talk about by name…both first and last…I won’t. And sadly, because this post will remain nameless, the guilty will probably remain oblivious to the fact that I’m talking directly to them.
*Deep breath* Ok, here goes…
Moms, if I EVER catch your daughters saying horrible, nasty things to my daughter again…either on Facebook, via text or whispering into the midnight breeze…
You will have more than my blog post to deal with.
Girls are bitches, without a doubt. They were awful when I was a teenager and many of those that are my age are still awful. And they’ve trained their daughters well. Because the awfulness that I knew in my day is magnifyed in their daughters.
Good job.
I’m not saying my daughter is perfect. She isn’t. Trust me, I live with her. There are so many tines that I feel like grabbing the duct tape and putting it over her mouth and then locking her in her room until she isn’t a teenager anymore.
But she is a nice girl. A sweet girl. Of course, I don’t know what she is like when she is with her friends, I imagine she’s got an attitude.
She’s not like these girls though. This, I do know.
Ever since 2nd grade, there has been this AWFUL child who has gone out of her way to ruin my daughter. And no, I’m not exaggerating. Check the school files, there have been numerous reports made about this and not just from me. This child…I call her the Bad Seed…has done such damage to my daughter that I don’t even know where to start.
Somehow, this Bad Seed always has an army of little followers, because that’s what so many kids are these days…followers. The Bad Seeds Army of Mindless Sheeple include some of the girls my daughter used to be friends with…somehow, the Bad Seed was able to destroy these friendships. Which is funny because many of the moms in the area never understood why their daughters are friends with this child. Adults see through her. Kids don’t. Not yet.
Instead…they march when she says march. They attack when she says attack. And my daughter is the target.
Well actually, not JUST my daughter. She bullies anyone who doesn’t follow her. She tries to emotionally beat them into submission. Oh, and she targets gay and handicapped, as well. Nice girl.
I’m sick of this behavior.
And you know what? I am starting to blame the parents. Not just of the Bad Seed, they’ve had their head somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine for years already. I also am blaming the other kids parents. I mean, I listen to all these parents talk about how they read their kids Facebook messages, texts and emails. So these parents MUST be aware of the things they are saying to my kid, right? And it hasn’t stopped, not ever. Which leads me to one of two conclusions…they really AREN’T snooping in on what their kids are doing OR they don’t see anything wrong with what their kids are doing. They apparently think it’s OK to be mean and nasty.
I’m here to tell you it isn’t. It’s not OK at all.
Then I realize that these kids are just a product of their environment. That doesn’t make it right or better but it explains why they are the way they are. The apples and the trees.
But Moms…
Your daughters are not nice people. Not at all.
I don’t care if they are 4.0 students and super popular.
Who cares. Big deal.
They are nasty little sheeple.
Thankfully, my daughter dances to her own drummer. She may not have a whole army to lead but she doesn’t follow anyone. She’s her own person. Strong. Independent. Brave. Beautiful.
I’m sick of your daughters trying to bring her down…which, they won’t do. They may make her fall a little, but she’ll always get back up. Their words might sting a little but she’ll tolerate the pain.
She knows the truth. She is better than them. I’m not just saying that because I’m her mother. I’m saying that because she would NEVER do to your daughters what your daughters do to her.
I’m proud of her strength and resolve. I’m proud that after all these years, she just keeps shrugging it off, even when it hurts badly. And there are times when it hurts. Badly.
I’m proud of her because she will NEVER be like your daughters. And no matter how badly she wants to be liked, she’ll never be friends with kids like your daughters. And no matter how many times she asks me why her, she’ll never try to fit in and be like your daughters.
Your daughters taught her many life lessons.
And as the mom of teenagers in this day and age, I have one less thing to worry about, thanks to your daughters.
And for that…I say thank you.
Thank god your daughter has a mom like you that sticks up for her. And your daughter? She sounds amazing. 🙂 Bullies are assholes and, unfortunately, they don’t get any better as they get older. More people need to speak out about this shit.
Can’t wait to see you at BlogHer!
Robin´s last blog post ..Conference, Schmomference.
Kudos for both speaking out and for the unimaginable restraint with which you’ve spoken. I can understand withholding names, but why not share some of the bad behavior? Actions speak louder words, right? Let them be known by their actions. Those who are close to the situation will know exactly at whom your post is directed, and a little exposure just might be what the doctor ordered. If the girls are not ashamed of their behavior going semi-public, nothing short of a miracle will save them anyway. Complete exposure might possibly do more harm than good, but I personally don’t think they deserve complete anonymity, either. Let them be seen by those who recognize them as wearing the proverbial Scarlet Letter, “B”.
And let your daughter know that living well is the very best revenge! It takes a very dark heart to be lightened by such cruelty, so she’s likely much happier than all of them.
Your daughter is VERY lucky to have a mom like you.
So very lucky. Fight on, tiger mom!!
Boys can be jerks, but they are no where nearly as cruel and mean as girls can be. The sad thing is if these Mean Girls have Mean Moms, the chances the cycle continues with their girls are high. Your daughter IS lucky to have you behind her.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..A worn path
I don’t understand people that raise their kids like that. I truly don’t. And as for that Bad Seed person … there’s only one way to handle that girl – at least as far as your daughter is concerned. Taser.
lceel´s last blog post ..Haiku Friday
I have many bad memories from 5th grade on. We didn’t have facebook of course, but kids have been mean since there have been organized schools. But I am here to tell you, that 30 years later I am far happier than those who were mean to me, and I’m living much better, too. High school should NOT be the best years of your life, because then you have nowhere to go but down. And believe me, these girls will go down. Give your precious girl a hug from me and tell her to just keep laughing, because karma is real and those girls are earning payback in spades.
Janet´s last blog post ..The Ghosts of New Year’s Present
This just breaks my heart. What is wrong with people? Why do parents allow their children to be so nasty and vile?! I am so sorry for what your daughter has been through.
Jenn @therebelchick´s last blog post ..How do you tell your man that he needs new underwear?
Excellent post. Thank you for drawing attention to this as I think you said it SO well. Off to share!
thedoseofreality´s last blog post ..Big Brother 14: Dan is the Man
We are just at the beginning of this. My daughter started a new school last year for first grade… and it starts ALREADY! Loved your honesty, your strength, and your daughter sounds like one amazing lady! Kudos to you both!
Good for you for putting this out there and for raising a strong independent girl – the world needs more of these!
I am a mom of boys and we really don’t have a lot of this drama to deal with. However, I have seen other girls behave in this way. And the parents are completely to blame.
I see some mothers try to “buy” their daughters’ way into the popular club. The parents volunteer for all these things thinking their kids will be more popular. They make sure their daughters are wearing the newest trends from Justice. It’s really crazy to me because everyone sees how these kids are EXCEPT their own parents. But, yet, like you said, the sheep follow.
I guess it will all come to light eventually. How unfortunate for them when they are older, and the same for the their “crew.” Keep encouraging your daughter to be resilient. That’s the kinda girl I want my boys to fall in love with (when they are like 30 or 40 or something like that)!
From one late bloomer to another, these mean girls are a lesson in comedic timing. Unfortunately for them, it’ll be about 15 years until they get the joke.
Nobody needs legions of friends and followers. Just a good pal to laugh, dork out and be themselves with. Chances are, your kid will make the kinds of friends that will stand the test of time as opposed to lasting through 8th grade or a bad haircut. #rockon
I have boys. Three. And though I can’t say that my own teenager is an angel (we’ve had many talks on “following” and bullying and so forth), I will be the first mom to verbally whiplash any child into submission who bullies my kid. Now, it could be said that I should teach my own children to stand up for themselves, that in raising boys, I shouldn’t be “rescuing” them from all their conflicts and I don’t. I try to give them the tools to stand up for themselves and fight back. And as they get older, the last thing they want is mommy fighting for them. But, i wouldn’t stay silent. Back in my time, as a teen in Sunset Park Brooklyn, we would just punch the crap out of the bully if you got sick of it, and then they wouldn’t bully you anymore – and want to be your best friend. Obviously my parents didn’t raise me right, and we don’t condone violence – I don’t teach it to my children. BUT silence is not an option. Ever. Not sure what resources you have to speak out on this matter, but I would find them, and I would use them. I’m sorry this is happening to your daughter. I’m sorry you are surrounded by idiot parents and their idiot children. I hope you find a way to have your voice heard and their names clearly spoken out for the whole world to hear.
Carol´s last blog post ..When Good Pitches Happen to Bad People
Sorry your daughter is dealing with this. And you…it’s hard on the moms, too. I’m dealing with a girl in our neighborhood who is the oldest kid on our block (about 12?) and she and the oldest boy have decided to make my 7 year old boy persona non grata with the other neighborhood kids. It’s been going on for weeks and it makes me so angry, what the hell is wrong with her? I’m almost ready to talk to her parents, who are nice people but it seems they are totally unaware of this. The worst thing is that all of the younger kids, the ones my son’s age, seem to be taking orders from the two older ones. My son will go outside to play, all the kids on the block will be out there and someone will yell “Nobody wants to play with you, J!” SO angry. Bullying sucks.
Kathryn (@kat1124)´s last blog post ..On Diversity and Negative Assumptions
10 more years, maybe less, and they will be living with more regret than they could ever imagine. These people do not win in the long run. They are doing their kids no favors by burying their heads in the sand and allowing them to be that way.
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Sum It Up {Random Thoughts}
Dang, girl! Way to speak THE TRUTH.
It’s unfortunate that I know too well the ins and outs of your post. I was that girl that was terrorized by the other mean girls. I cried almost every day after school from 6th-8th grade. And high school was better, but mostly because there were so many niches available, it was much bigger and I went to an all girls school. Sometimes I think girls act this way because of/for the boys.
I have four boys myself. And when people see me try to wrangle my four- two 4 year olds, a 9 year old and an 11 year old- from trees, on top of furniture, out of the mud and tell me that they are sorry that I have four boys, I remind them that I will be sorry for them when they have (two teenage girls, a preteen girl) fill in the blank.
The truth is it’s not gender solely (although as a woman I know we are crueler to each other than dudes) but also about how we parent our children. We-as a society-need to be teaching our children empathy. The ability to walk a mile in another’s shoes-the ability to take on another person’s emotional viewpoint-is priceless. And also under taught and under appreciated in our society as a whole.
Thank you for speaking out. Maybe when we all speak out, we will find a way to better guide our children in an empathetic manner.
Angel
Angel´s last blog post ..Ice Cream Makes the World Go ‘Round