BlogHer, Private Parties and Such: Some Thoughts and Advice

· by: melissa

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Every year, around this time…or earlier, the BlogHer party hoopla begins.

The first time I went was 2009, I was one of those involved in the private party invite search.

I couldn’t stand it though. The hurt feelings. The begging. The ass-kissing.

So in 2010, along with Lauren and Melysa, I founded BarHer. The ultimate ANTI-private party. A party that no one would have to beg for an invite to.

We opened it with around 80 invites, leaving over 100 people on the wait list. But, because it was an anti-private party, we opened it to everyone. Screw the wait list.

This year, BarHer is back only, we are BanShe Party, the ultimate traveling party FOR bloggers BY bloggers. This time, I brought on Mary, Christina and Tracy. It’s going to be awesome. No, really. Awesome.

We will be announcing details regarding our registration in a couple days, after July 4th. Make sure you follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

In the meantime, I just want to share some thoughts about BlogHer for a moment.

Relax. It’s a conference, not a red carpet, star-studded event.

These private parties? Who cares. Seriously. All they do is take away precious time that could be spent hanging out with your friends. Also, just because you didn’t get invited to one doesn’t diminish your place in the Blogdom. Your words are worthwhile and don’t let these stupid parties make you feel they aren’t.

After spending a fortune on new clothes, back in 2009, I realized how stupid it is to buy an entire new wardrobe for a CONFERENCE. I’ve been to a few other blogger conferences since my first BlogHer experience and let me tell you, I’ve NEVER dressed up at any other conference. It’s so ridiculous. This year, I’m bringing what I have. Unless, of course, I lose more weight. Don’t do it, don’t spend money on clothes. Honestly, we haven’t seen any of your wardrobe anyways. It’s ALL brand new to us!

Don’t run like a crazed lunatic, you’ll miss the true fun. The people, the social part.

SWAG wars. 2009, women were fighting over SWAG. It was the most disgusting display I had ever seen. Honestly, most of the stuff you get, you probably wouldn’t even buy if you saw it in the store. Sorry but it’s the truth. Sure, you get some cool things but, on the most part? No. So, no fighting ladies. Unless you want to end up in a ton of blog posts with a stigma attached to you. If that’s your M.O then go for it.

Ladies…stop begging. PLEASE. I’m actually BEGGING YOU. Stop it. Would you beg people in your neighborhood to invite you to their private shindig? Would you beg a restaurant to give you an invite? Would you BEG EVER?

Then don’t do it for these private parties. They don’t deserve you doing something you wouldn’t do on an average day.

Also, I promise you, you won’t have to beg for BanShe invites. Somehow, someway, we will accommodate everyone. Because THAT is the whole point of this party.

So, go to BlogHer. Get as much of the experience as you can. Rest when you need to rest. Learn what you want to learn. Meet who you want to meet. Make it YOUR OWN conference experience.

Enjoy.

I can’t wait to meet you!

Comments

comments

Comments

  3. Kelly Loubet (@Childhood) says

    Bwahahaha… I will NEVER forget the great swag wars of 2009… *sigh* I mean really? If you can’t live without a free packet of dishwasher soap… I’ll send you one. Let’s not rip them from eachother’s hands and steal them off bellboy’s carts as they roll by. In all seriousness… I adore BlogHer. It’s like a family reunion and the one time each year I manage to see my e-wife Melissa… who I’m taking on a date xoxo LOL!So relax, have fun, and enjoy your experience. This is my 4th BlogHer and I’m still just as excited.
    Kelly Loubet (@Childhood)´s last blog post ..Frick and Frack Turn Five

  5. Jaime says

    Wow, I love this post. I’m new to your blog and stumbled upon someone tweeting this out. It makes me feel all the more firm in my own BlogHer ’12 plan to simply meet people, attend a few sessions, some parties, but overall just do my own thing spontaneously. There will be no begging, no shopping for new clothes, no stressing. Just fun!
    Jaime´s last blog post ..Realizations

  7. NerdMom says

    Last year was my first BlogHer but I have been hearing about the mythically bad behavior at the 2009 one! It is hard to not desire invites to private parties but at the same time there is only so much time people!!!

    My problem is the clothes… I just went to Type A and if I don’t do any shopping people will be seeing a lot of the same thing.
    NerdMom´s last blog post ..Free Wiggle Music Sampler

  8. Everyday Mama says

    The SWAG drives me nuts!!! People were leaping on me trying to get the stuff I was giving away. I decided they didn’t need it and left it for the hotel housekeeping staff with a nice note 🙂 I’ve been the last two years but skipping this year because of the baby… Have fun!!!
    Everyday Mama´s last blog post ..Mama’s Baby Muffins

  9. deb says

    This is my first year at BlogHer, but not my first conference. What everyone needs to remember is it’s not about the private parties or the swag you’ll never use; it’s about the connections you make with brands AND bloggers. Honestly, the connections with bloggers has been more beneficial than anything else after attending a conference. Go and take some bloggers to coffee instead of going to a party. Those relationships will be the most beneficial in the long run. hope to see you there 🙂
    deb´s last blog post ..I’m A Maytag Kitchen Ambassador #MaytagMoms

  10. Rose says

    This is my 2nd conference by far the largest. I can’t wait to make actual connections, I’m already seeing greed displayed in blog posts – I don’t want to witness these things.
    Ass-kissing isn’t something that comes easy for me. If at all. It’s just not a pretty color. “you got a little brown on your nose honey”.

    I bought all of one new pair of capri pants because 1)it’s hard for me to find a pair that fit and look normal, 2) I wanted something with pockets for my flight and conference, 3)I’ll be dressed very casual unless I find something I just can’t live without pre/post conference. Hell, I can’t afford all the hoopla that others are doing.

    I’m always me, some love me and others can’t stand me but I’m true to myself. 🙂 So glad others are too.

    Dammit, I really have got to meet up with you all for the tiara photo op. Planing a ton of pictures.
    Rose´s last blog post ..Do you need ideas on family-friendly summer activities? Walmart & Nestle Can Help

  11. Megan says

    Great post. This will be my first BlogHer but I have attended a ton of conferences in my life. The best advice I have received is that none of these women have seen my wardrobe, so why go out and buy new stuff to impress, when what I currently have is fab. I am also sick and tired of hearing people beg over being invited to certain parties. I am traveling w/ one of my besties, who is also a blogging goddess, so if we have a free night on our schedules, that only means us dining at an amazing restaurant together in NYC. All and all, I am excited to learn new stuff, meeting inspirational amazing women and having fun. Your post nailed it!
    Megan´s last blog post ..What happens when the cookie…or cork crumbles

  12. Elaine A. says

    That was NUTS in 2009. I remember being so stunned. I’m happy to say I haven’t seen anything like that since though. And I am SO at BanShe with my girl Jennifer! Can’t wait!! 😀

  13. Stephanie says

    That is the most sane and logical string of words I’ve seen so far about this event. I’m (most likely) coming, barring any further uncertain disaster with our new house, but I’ve just been reading threads about private parties, outfits, and other general (and specific) craziness and see how exhilarated, desperate, then angry, then sad people get about party invites. Is that what this is all about? Seeing those threads really gave me pause. I WILL be buying a few new pieces of clothing (again, if I make it!), if only because I’ve had 3 kids in 2 years, and don’t have anything really special to wear. That’s for me. What I don’t want to see is people begging, groveling, and playing popularity contest, because, again, is that what this is really about? Anyway, great post! Thanks for bringing this back down to earth where it belongs
    Stephanie´s last blog post ..The Storm, or Why You Will (or Won’t) See Me at BlogHer

  14. Andrea says

    Love this and am glad my approach to being a BlogHer newbie sounds right. 🙂 I’m looking forward to fun, connecting w/new and old friends, making new ones and just shooting the sh!t w/peeps.

    Anyway, thanks for this! And Tracy just told me about this party so I’m already excited. 😛
    Andrea´s last blog post ..I am because I DO.

  16. The Maven says

    Wait? People were stealing dish soap from each other?

    **sigh**

    Anyway, fabu post. Don’t hate me, but I might buy just ONE new shirt. Not because it’s BlogHer, but because it’s ff’n hot in NYC and I don’t have enough summer wear here in chilly Seattle. 🙂
    The Maven´s last blog post ..What not to do when it comes to tile…

  19. Robin says

    Thank you for this entry. I missed BarHer in 2010 and I can’t wait for BanShe – just sounds like a cool place to have fun…with a boa. 🙂
    Robin´s last blog post ..Playing Catch-Up

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