Last October I went 2 Duran Duran concerts in 3 days. It was BRILLIANT. The 2nd one was in Windsor, ONT. I went with some girls I had only known online, PR chicks from the area. And I brought my sister, too.
Anyways, that’s the fateful evening I met Monica. She and I hit it off IMMEDIATELY and now, I’m lucky to call her a good friend of mine! And yes, believe it or not, we have way more to talk about than Duran Duran.
We went out last night, dinner and a movie. We saw Rock of Ages, save your money. It sucked.
Driving home from the movie, we were listening to our guys, Duran Duran. Both of us love them passionately. Beyond passionately. On a few rare occasions, we’d get a retweet or reply from John (Monica did, the bitch) or the community manager of Duran Duran on Twitter (they followed me for 24 hours and I still have no idea why they unfollowed, I mean, HELLO…@ROCKDROOL )… for which we’d brag about ad nauseam. But for the most part, we complained to each other that no matter how many times we throw our Twitter virtual black bra to John and Simon, we get ignored. We imagined what our reactions would be if we ever found ourselves face to face with our boys from Birmingham. Faint, speechless, tears and blubbering messes were what we concluded.
We’re both pretty determined gals and, with our shared love (read: obsession) with D2, we tried to devise a mastermind plan to meet them before we die. Because listen, a girl has to have goals and aspirations. Ours just happens to be meeting the boys that plastered our bedroom walls growing up and can make these two 40-something women feel 15 again. What?
Somehow, we came to the conclusion that the only way we will be able to meet the Wild Boys themselves is in the year 2030 or so, when they are in a nursing home performing for their crotchety old peers. We decided that we’d break into the nursing home and finally throw ourselves on them. Only, they may be a little too frail for the force of our bodies landing upon theirs and, quite frankly, same with our bodies because we are only around 10 years behind them. That’s neither here nor there when it’s in our fantasy…
Then, we had to take it a little further. We came up with a playlist that Duran Duran would entertain their friends with, every Friday night after Bingo…
Presenting…Duran Durans Playlist in the year 2030 or so…
New Moon on Monday …I just hope I’m still here to see it
Union of the Snake Only Happens with Viagra
(Her Name Was) Rio
Is There Something I Should Know? You Probably Told Me But I’m Senile and I Forgot
Leave a Light On I Can’t Find My Teeth
Hungry Like the Wolf But I Have Really Bad Indigestion Now
Careless & Forgetful Memories
The Chauffer Got Let Go Because I’m on a Fixed Income
(Reach up for) Sunrise (But My Back is Out)
The Reflex? More Like Reflux!
Falling Down and I Can’t Get Up
Planet Earth? Is That What This Place Is Called? We Thought It Was Sunnybrook Farm For Senior Living.
Wild Boys Staying Up Past 8 pm
Blame the Machines, They Are What’s Keeping Us Alive
I’m Looking For Cracks In The Pavement (So I Don’t Trip And Break A Hip)
Lady Xanax (Meet Sir Viagra)
So there you have it, our top secret plan to finally get to meet Duran Duran.
What performers do you want to meet in-person SO BADLY? What fantasy length would you go to in order to finally meet them?
gentle disclaimer: Dear Simon, John, Nick and Roger, Should you happen to stumble across this post…this is a joke, we mean absolutely no disrespect and we are NOT, under any circumstances, slamming the loves of our lives. We love these guys and want to meet them but we figure that this would be the only way possible at this point.