I read the Time Magazine article here. The whole Mommy community has been set ablaze and we are all posting our response to it.
It puts THAT question in our heads, the one we sometimes think about in the middle of the night… “Are we mom enough?”.
Yeah. We are.
We are mom enough.
It doesn’t matter what your parenting style is.
It doesn’t matter if you choose to nurse or bottle feed.
It doesn’t matter if you choose to spank or stick with time outs.
It doesn’t matter if you choose circumcision or not.
It doesn’t matter if you let your child cry it out or tend to its every squawk.
It doesn’t matter if you choose cloth or Pampers.
It doesn’t matter if you decide to use Nestle or another brand.
IT DOES NOT MATTER.
It doesn’t matter because it’s nobody else’s business but your own.
That is the one thing that sickens me about some of the blogging community. Just because someone has an opinion doesn’t give them the right to insult, belittle, harass, gang up on…anyone who doesn’t share the same beliefs. Which, I’ve seen AND experienced all too often.
You do what you want to do to raise YOUR OWN children and I’ll do what I see fit for my own.
Anyhow…I read that article and I didn’t understand how it became an “us vs. them” type of issue. Except for the fact that drama made it so.
What I took away from that article was that Dr. Sears worked damn hard to get to where he is today and he touched millions of people who chose to parent by his book. And? So?
How does that have ANYTHING to do with being mom enough?
It doesn’t. Not a thing.
We are ALL mom enough.
We all have one battle wound or another that has deemed us worth in the Parent Hall of Fame or Shame.
I thought a bit before I actually responded to this article because I’m sort of sick of the whole drama war thing that happens. But, I decided that I was going to voice my opinion too, especially after I saw this come through my Facebook timeline.
It wasn’t that photo so much as the real one. But seeing the farce sort of hit a nerve.
In a Detroit Free Press article that was written about me a couple years ago…which, I can’t find the link to…
I was told that I share too much about my family…particularly my children…on my blog.
I do. Sometimes.
But, if you’ll notice, I took all the photos of my children down. Sure, they are still somewhere on the internet, but not so much on my blog anymore. It also had to do with a PSYCHO STALKER who was harassing me but that’s another story that I’ll share another time.
I stopped with the photo sharing because it stays online FOREVER. And I didn’t want my kids to, someday, have any of that come back to haunt them.
That photo on the cover of Time?
Now, I don’t know that blogger nor do I know her reasons for her posing in that particular way. So, I’m not going to say anything directed toward her. I’m respectful like that.
That photo will never. EVER. Go away.
That child will FOREVER have that to reckon with in one way or another.
It’s not about the breastfeeding because I breastfed. Quite frankly and for all I care, people can breastfeed until their kids go to college, it’s none of my business.
It’s not about the fact that the breastfeeder is a rather LARGE pre-schooler. Again, I don’t care. That’s their thing. My last one quit my breast after 7 months. I wasn’t ready, he was.
I realize that the magazine used a picture to stir up commotion and props to them because commotion and chaos was stirred.
Again, only those who decide to get into the thick of it can stir up the mud. Or however the saying goes.
There’s always something that causes panties to give wedgies.
Luckily, when you go commando…no wedgies.
So, wars can continue around me. Who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s a never ending and VERY LOUD conversational argument.
My main concern is that poor kid.
You KNOW that picture will resurface when he is in high school.
Then, it doesn’t matter if anyone was MOM ENOUGH.
Because that damage was done.
No matter how cuddled, kissed, loved, nursed he was.
Well, that and the stinking title of the article…
Mostly the picture…
Was my main problem with that entire article.
So, let the war continue, I’ve had my say.
No judging here, I’m going commando.
I’m so glad you shared. I see we’re of the same mind in a lot of this, and that’s so good. Just stop the judging. Just stop it.
And commando is the best way to lower that laundry pile, just sayin’
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Middle State says
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Katrina @Hix in the Stix ~ Army Edition says
AGREE!!!! Love this! Honestly, I kind of had the same thought about that poor kid. How do you get over the stigma of that; especially since it IS a rather sexualized, provocative photo. I mean, it’s way worse than the “sitting on the potty” photos or even the ones of the little boys all dressed up in their sister’s princess clothes. This is something that will more than likely haunt him through jr high/high school.
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Magnolia Mom says
GREAT post! Thanks for sharing.
hollow tree ventures says
You’re so right; in the midst of everyone fighting over being Mom Enough and all the other parent-related topics, the kid did sort of get forgotten. When I think about how tough middle and high school were, I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would’ve been to have a picture like that of myself on the cover of Time. ::shudder::
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And that’s what we tell our kids–once something is online, it’s online forever –words, pics, videos. I feel bad for the kid.
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I agree with you completely.
I haven’t read it. The cover photo disturbs me though. Not the breastfeeding… just what you said… the kid having to deal with it in the future.
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I’ve read the article and a lot of the controversy it has inspired, and I agree with you. We really, really need to stop judging each other and just start respecting and supporting each other in motherhood. I also worry about when the little boy gets to school and the type of nicknames kids are going to created to tease him about it.
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