As the couple of you who read my blog know, I started Medical Weight Loss last week. I started the meds part of the diet this morning. I love Adipex, it gives me energy which I’ve been so lacking lately. I’m getting old and tired. And it speeds up my very, very, very slow metabolism.
The thing I really like about Medical Weight Loss is, it’s kind of monitored by a doctor, who just happens to be the father of a friend of mine since High School! So, the joint takes blood-work to make sure that all systems are go for the medical part.
Yesterday, I met with the doctor at the clinic. It was a quick appointment; he looked over my chart, talked to me for a few minutes and then signed the scrip leaving me to go off and fill it.
We chatted briefly, he’s a nice guy. And in that short conversation, which I’ll share with you in a moment, I realized that I’m so sick of defending my position.
As he is looking over my chart at the blood results, he stops at my cholesterol, which has never been under 249, ever. In my life. He explains to me that my “bad” cholesterol isn’t so great but my “good” cholesterol is pretty good. Shocking, actually.
Then, he proceeds to enlighten me on dieting. And this is where it’s not just him, it seems the rest of the world is in agreement (or, at least part of the rest of the world). You know, the typical eat less, move more philosophy.
It appears that there is a common misnomer in regards to people who aren’t thin, like me.
He, like other doctors and other people before him, told me that the first step to losing weight is to combat my Obsessive/Compulsive, and to stop binge eating when things get emotional. He saw in my chart that I take Wellbutrin. He told me it was perfect for my Obsessive-Compulsiveness. He had no clue that I’m on it because of the severe anxiety I had, starting a little before my mom died.
I didn’t even argue with him. For the first time ever, I didn’t defend the fact that I’m not heavy because I eat a lot.
Because that is SO NOT WHY I’m heavy. But tell that to someone who is convinced otherwise. Usually, upon defending myself, I get the whole “you’re just living in denial” thing. Which pisses me off too. I live in denial about many things. I’m also a very honest person and if I was a compulsive binge eater, I’d let you know. Trust me.
I don’t make bad food choices. I didn’t explain that to him either. Because I’m sick of telling people that, too.
Just because people are heavy does NOT mean that they eat a lot. In fact, I probably don’t eat enough throughout the day which would contribute to my metabolism not functioning properly.
Yes, I know, there are many of you who will disagree. Which is why I’m going to not argue with you about it. Not anymore.
My parents always told me that there are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the truth. In this case, there are only two sides and mine is the truth.
And the truth is, I’m not heavy because I eat.
I’m not heavy because I drink.
I’m not heavy because of wrong food choices.
I’m not heavy because I sit and shovel food in the privacy of a closet all day.
The only thing I “closet” do is smoke. And more people are finding out about it but I still won’t do it in public.
I don’t know why I’m heavy. Stress. Genetics. Whatever. I just am.
I’ll tell you what though. I’m going to let you go along thinking that you can tell by looking at me why I’m heavy. I’m going to let you think that I’m a statistic.
Because really? I’m so sick of trying to convince you that just because I’m heavy does NOT mean I’m a pig.