Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, my parents explained to me how babies were made. I sat and excitedly listened to my parents tell me something about a man putting his penis inside a woman’s vagina. Then, the penis spits and these little spermy dudes are released. The strongest sperm unites with the little egg that is traveling its way down the woman’s insides. And viola…a zygote is made. Then, the zygote turns into an embryo. Then the embryo turns into a fetus. And the fetus, when born, is called an infant.
Then, when I got a little older, I got a little curious. When does this fertilized egg actually become a life.
I asked. The answer I received was…
Once this fertilized egg goes through all the stages, becomes a baby and is able to live outside the mothers womb, it’s a life. Because, if it can’t live outside the womb, it can’t live at all. Unless it spends the rest of its life living in the mothers uterus but then that wouldn’t be very comfortable for anyone. I’d dread the teenage years based on that situation.
For all these years, I thought life began when life COULD begin.
But now, the politicians who seem to know much more than any scientist, doctor or any other knowledgable source…they say that life begins 2 weeks BEFORE conception.
How the FUCK is that possible? And please forgive the colorful language but I’m exceptionally confused.
So, what these POLITICIANS are saying essentially is this…
My eggs are alive. Without the help of sperm to fertilize them. Sing that to the Sound of Music.
I’m Mary. I am capable of divine conception.
And so…if I’m in Arizona two weeks before I’m fertile and then SUDDENLY I get my period…am I going to get arrested for having a spontaneous abortion if someone finds out? Oh wait, I can try to find the egg in the toilet and then shove it back up to try to incubate it until it becomes…what? What could an egg POSSIBLY become if it’s not fertilized other than a schmutz on a tampon or a plegh in the toilet?
What about sperm? If my eggs are considered life, then so are sperm, right? It’s only fair. But crap, if a guy ejaculated, that would be a mass murder. That would be spermicide on a massive scale. I mean…that’s a few life sentences there.
But this is about women. We aren’t allowed to have any say in our bodies. Politicians are deciding what is best for us and our unhatched eggs. Some of these politicians are women, which is so totally beyond me. How can ANY woman…or man, but it seems they are dumber than women to begin with…think that this is a good idea. How can this have been an ah-ha moment for anyone?
I can picture it. A bunch of old fuddy duddies sitting around a politicians office or courtroom or wherever it is they sit and spew out stupidity…
One of them, in a very educated tone with eyes lighting up announces to the group his/her idea of, what he/she considers to be sheer brilliance…OK, I’m hoping this was a man that decided this because if it was a woman than…well, wow. But wow anyways. And I just realized…it IS a woman sponsoring this bill. I’m going to assume her parents dropped her on the head when she was an egg…er…infant. So, let’s go back to this hypothetical, shall we?
This man/woman with bright ideas and an even brighter light-bulb announces to his/her peers that he/she feels that, based on fertility, a woman is harboring LIFE within her lining shedding womb 2 weeks BEFORE this woman even considers the thought of penetration.
And these other politician folks, here’s hoping they are still all men because…wow…they are looking at each other. They are rubbing their chins and their temples in concentration. They are nodding in agreement. They are all thinking that they like this idea…
These morons…er…politicians that are running a state in our good country decide…UNANIMOUSLY…that INDEED, this woman who is about to have her period and presumably before she’s even had sperm released into her…she is carrying inside her…
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Morons. The whole lot of them.
Ok, so I get that an egg is the symbol of life on many holidays. This is just taking it a few million steps too far…backwards.
My eggs, and I’m assuming I have a couple of good ones left, considering my advanced age…are RIGHT NOW…as we speak…LIFE.
Because, I’m 2 weeks before when I could conceivably conceive.
I could rant forever. Because none of this makes sense to me.
Maybe I’m missing something?
If life begins 2 weeks BEFORE conception then life as we know it ENDS with politicians.