Timid and shy. Afraid to voice my honest opinion for fear of judgement or hurting feelings.
That USED to be me. Well, when I was younger. It was a little bit of an issue in my teen years. Although, I had a mind of my own and always did what I felt like doing, sometimes to my parents dismay.
My opinion changed constantly. Most likely it was depending on who I was hanging out with at the moment.
While I dared to be different in so many ways, I was also afraid to voice differences of opinion. I think I was worried about getting into any type of fight with my friends and I thought if I said I believed along the lines of whatever it was they were saying, then I avoided any type of controversy or any type of confrontation.
I wasn’t a conformist, not really. I was just more, like, a passive-aggressivist.
I’ve mentioned this before but, my Mom always preached to me and my sister…ALWAYS ask for what you want, the worse thing that can happen is you’ll be told no.
It wasn’t until I got to be an adult, a mother, that I really began living those words. To the fullest.
It is part of who I am now. It’s part of how I live my life. Because if I don’t ask, I’ll never know the answer.
Also, I embrace my opinion now. I embrace the fact that my opinion sometimes changes, depending on my mood.
It’s MY opinion.
I still don’t want to hurt feelings. I’m still not comfortable with confrontation.
That’s totally fine.
It’s so important to me that my kids see that it’s OK to be true to who you feel you are meant to be. Because, I feel they see it, they know it and they live it.
They are so much of who I was and who I am.
I’m so proud of that. Of them.
They have opinions and they aren’t afraid to argue them, even if they arguments make no sense and they realize it.
They ask for things and they aren’t afraid of being told no. They may not like it but they aren’t worried about it.
They know, even though they don’t always apply it, that you have to work hard for what you want. Things don’t fall into your lap, even though it sometimes looks like it does. We all work hard for what we’ve earned.
They watch it every day with their father and myself.
They are who I wished I was at their age.
They are strong. Proud. Beautiful. Amazing.
They are people that I am so thankful to have in my life.
They are the kind of kids that I would have wanted to be friends with.
They are the kind of kids that I’d want my kids to hang out with.
Sure, I’m impressed with my handiwork.
But what’s more impressive to me is what they’re becoming through what they’re learning. Beyond their traditional education.
And they are still forming. Still growing. Developing stronger.
I can’t wait to see what happens in a few years, when everything begins to truly fall into place for them.
And it WILL happen for them.
Whatever it is that they want to happen for them
Without a doubt.
We all had good teachers!!
A passive-aggressivist; I LOVE it. It describes me to a T! Your kids? Your kids will be great, I just know it.
Gigi´s last blog post ..How is it that I can be SO proud and yet so heartbroken at the same time?
Oh my goodness–I had SUCH a problem asking for…well, ANYTHING really until my late twenties. I think marrying a TRUE “passive-agressivist” helped a lot. Before him, I was just passive and was attracted to aggressive (or just plain mean!) boys (I’m going with boys because that was what most of them were. Even in their thirties!). Having two people in the relationship who were too afraid to speak up when jobs weren’t done or money was lost was not conducive to running a household, so I became the…speaker-upper! You are doing SUCH an amazing job with your children–and this was so beautifully written–thanks for sharing!
justanothertiredmommy´s last blog post ..REALLY?! I guess the apple really didn’t fall too far…