if you can't say it in person, don't say it on facebook

Facebook Status Updates Don’t Make You Look Cool

if you can't say it in person, don't say it on facebook
To My Children,
Yes, I am once again writing to you on my blog. Because what happened yesterday is an incident that needs to be shared with all parents and other children.

Let’s talk about Facebook and behavior.

Certainly, we all get angry sometimes. It’s a natural thing. We aren’t always going to be pleased about everything and we will respond and react to it, sometimes, very inappropriately.

We also are never going to always get along. Seeing eye to eye on everything, every step of the way is impossible. We all have different views and different ways of approaching life. It’s completely expected and normal.

With Facebook came a new outlet for people to have a way to vent.

In my opinion, it’s become the enabler of passive-aggressive behavior. Kids, in particular, use the mask of a computer and keyboard to allow themselves to say what they otherwise wouldn’t have the guts to say.

As a parent, it’s my duty to tell you that, if you can’t say it to someones face, don’t say it on your Facebook wall. Chances are, it’ll blow up that mask of anonymity in your real life face.

If you are going to use your wall to say things about your parents because you’re angry…don’t. We find out. Parents have a way of finding out everything. It might not be something that comes to our attention immediately but don’t ever kid yourselves, the negative things you are saying eventually get to us.

And you will end up having hell to pay.

Parents have spies everywhere. It’s our job.

We need to protect you from things, particularly yourselves. Especially in the case of Facebook status updates.

We understand the desire to fit in. We understand the need to look “cool” amongst your peers. We were there once, believe it or not.

But, saying stuff like “fuck you (whichever parent)”, “do the right fucking thing (parent) and divorce (other parent)” or other things along those lines…it doesn’t make you look cool. It makes you look like a needy wimp who hides behind a brightly glowing screen. We didn’t have that in our day. We had to either sulk in our own misery or we actually had to talk to our parents when we were angry. No texting. No emailing. No technology. We actually had to confront them face to face. Yeah, human contact. Scary stuff.

Which…you’ll end up having to do anyways when we parents find out about all the horrible stuff you have said on your Facebook wall. Only, whatever fire that had been started in anger grows even stronger when we learn of your behavior.

There was a video a few days ago. The father found out about his daughters nasty words on her Facebook wall and, in anger, he posted a video of his response. And he also took a gun and shot his daughters computer to smithereens.

I totally understand now why he did it.

Due to the fact that I respect that MacBook far too much, I wouldn’t choose to desecrate it in that manner. I would have loved to have taken that computer away from you. But due to circumstances beyond my control, it was not in my power nor authority to do so. However, don’t be so certain that if this type of situation ever arises again, I will go against certain other forces and you will never see that computer again until you are 18.

So, to all my children and in particular, the one who felt it necessary to slam me on his Facebook page…

Just because your friends are hitting “like” on your status updates, it doesn’t mean a damn thing. In actuality, your Facebook friends are probably thinking that you’re not overly bright for badmouthing a parent in a public place that everyone can access.

It doesn’t make you look cool.

It doesn’t make you look like you’re bad ass.

It doesn’t make you look ANYTHING positive.

It makes you look like you are a passive-aggressive wimp who doesn’t know how to deal.

So heed my advice for the future…

If you can’t say “fuck you” to my face then you probably should just keep your fingers off your keyboard.


For the record, so I’m not hypocritical…everything I wrote in this post has been said to my children FACE TO FACE.



©Rock and Drool