We moved into our home the summer before my youngest daughter started first grade. In our old house, she was the Queen of Kindergarten. Everyone loved her, everyone wanted to be friends with her. Her smile lit up a room. She knew how to work a crowd, even at a young age. Grown ups and kids were drawn to her, they wanted to be near her.
First grade started uneventfully. During the first conference, I was told by her teacher that my daughter was the type of girl who would be Homecoming Queen her whole life. She had a bazillion friends and not one single enemy.
Her life was glitter and rainbows. She was the reason. She WAS rainbows and sparkles.
In 2nd grade, things began to change.
There was a girl. A very, very jealous girl. She started causing problems for my daughter. She began circulating rumors, telling my daughters friends that she heard that my daughter didn’t like them. This girl began driving major wedges into my daughters friendships. Wedges that continued to grow.
This girl, she didn’t let up. Her emotional bullying was on a daily basis. She told lies and somehow was able to manipulate these classmates into believing and defriending.
I found out that this girl wasn’t just doing this to my daughter. She had other victims. I learned of this when I reported it to the elementary school. It was noted in this evil seeds file.
The torture never let up. There were times when it did and during those quiet periods, my daughter felt it was in her best interest to keep her enemy close. She hung out with her. I even allowed this wretch into my home because that way, I could keep an eye on her. This girl was sneaky though, she did things like steal passwords to other friends Webkinz accounts in order to steal their things and then, blamed it on my daughter. This girl loved to see what she could get away with, always blaming the kid she was hanging out with. And, her parents believed her. Of course. But, I truly believe they live with their heads up their tuchases.
Well, my daughter is now in 8th grade. The beginning of the year was quiet enough. In fact, it seemed like it had completely ceased. I almost began thinking that this girl outgrew her vile ways.
Until recently.
She’s at it again. Telling my daughters friends how unliked my daughter is, that no one likes her and her BFF at their school. She doesn’t stop the emotional torture when she leaves the school grounds, either. She takes it to dance, Sunday School, other friends houses. It’s almost like her mission is to destroy other classmates spirit so that she can be the reigning Evil Queen.
I have reported it to the school. Again.
They are watching this girl. Still. For years now.
Nothing has been done though. Great school system we have here. Many parents have been complaining about her yet…she still walks the halls with our children, eats with them at lunch, learns with them in the classroom and then, goes home and torments them via text and FB.
I haven’t done enough to protect my daughter from this monster child. I’m getting to the point where I’m going to confront the parents. Although, when the elementary school Principal and Social Worker did, the Mom just shrugged it off and told them that it’s their problem, they need to deal with it…if it’s even true. I know what she said, I was friends with the mom for a couple of years. And trust me when I tell you, apples don’t fall far from trees.
We told my daughter that if, by mistake, she say…tripped this girl in the hallway…and got suspended, she wouldn’t be in trouble.
If this girl doesn’t stop trying to destroy my child and some of her friends, I will take legal action.
I know I’m not the only mother who can’t stand this girl. Yet, so many of the kids are friends with her. Most likely, because they prefer to remain on her good side because they’ve witnessed her evil side.
She’s a manipulating, evil child and I keep trying to reinforce to my daughter that it’s not her, it’s that thing. Yes, I’m being mean but, I can’t help it. I can’t say anything nice about her. She’s disgusting.
I will not allow this Bad Seed to destroy my daughter anymore. My daughter has been traumatized. Her rainbow has faded. Her sparkles have lessened. And I hold this girl responsible.
Bullying of ANY FORM should NOT BE TOLERATED. The school district should have done something years ago.
I should have done something years ago.
I’m doing something now. I’m speaking out. I’m going to fight for the color of my daughters rainbow and sparkles.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I don’t think you are being mean. You are simply being true to yourself and standing up for your child. Don’t worry about what you haven’t done. That is in the past. You are standing up for her now. Good luck. With you in her corner, your daughter’s rainbow and sparkles will be back even better than they were before.
I know exactly what this feels like- and I commend you for attempting to fix this through the correct channels… unfortunately, girls like this don’t “get fixed”… they’re broken, and no amount of warning or watching, or pretending to be friends can help. Your daughter needs to eliminate this girl from her circle. You can help by blocking her online, on cell phones, get her close friends to do the same. Get solid proof on this girl- video, recorded calls, FB posts, and expose her–Call in other parents, neighbors, etc and rally together… a force speaks louder, and if need be- move to another area/ another school. Your teen has suffered enough. These are her formative years, and it this evil bitch gets to her now- ruining her more than the last 6 years, she will never be the same, never have the same potential. Imagine if this person was at YOUR work place? Wouldn’t you consider relocating? Changing jobs?
and even then… bullies understand bullying. I’m not above boomeranging some of their tricks back at them. Karma is a bitch.
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I’m so sorry to hear this, Melissa. I agree with you, bullying should not be tolerated in any way. I believe that the current school system, despite their declarations against bullying, does not have a solid solution to this problem. Especially when the bullying is psychological in nature, they are very cautious and as the result, slow in the way they handled the situation because often there is no tangible evidence.
I think you’re very courageous in taking action to make sure that the school rectifies the situation. It is important for children especially in their formative years to be able to grow and flourish in a supportive and positive environment.
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I remember a fairytale once about lemmings. Am I remembering right?
Girls can be bullies too and you’re right to do what you must to protect your child. Obviously the parents have no influence and have abdicated their responsibility.
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Hey mama, good for you. This exact same thing happened to my sister–EXACTLY the same. It got really bad in 7th grade, 8th was worse. She dropped out of high school, all sparkle and self esteem gone, and is still batteling depression and self-worth at 20 years old. So effing disgusting and it is so hard to feel powerless againts it, when you see your daughters beautiful spirit fading.
I think it is awesome that you are speaking out. What do yo think about tell the admins of the school that you do not feel safe with your daughter in the same school as this bully? I think if you stress that you fear for her safety, they have to take action. If not, I say take legal action into your own hands.
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My daughter has had this since she was four. Thankfully it was just at daycare. The other girl was older so she doesn’t have to go to school with her. Yet. I finally got enough at the end of summer and told my daughter the next time she did something mean to her that she should just haul off and punch her as hard as she could. At first she didn’t want to do it, but when she finally did she took her power back. It took two punches and the girl backed off. My daughter didn’t even get in trouble at school because they all know how this other kid is and were fed up with her too. I’m still not sure why they didn’t kick her out.
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Melissa,
I agree that you should stand up for and beside your daughter against this monster child.
Shout it from the roof tops if you have to. I would get a hold of the school’s codes of conduct regarding bulling. If they don’t have one, jump on the band wagon and make sure there is one written specifically targeting or using her behaviors as a guide. My daddy always told me if you can’t get someone thru the front door get em thru the back!
I’d make it my personal mission.
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Oh Mama how this sucks and I feel for you. And there in lies the problem, the bullying is with the parents. This poor little girl is unloved at home and possibly no positive reinforcement and or attention. So because her life is so miserable and unhappy she is wanting everyone else to feel this way as well….it is true that misery loves company. These people thrive off of chaos and despair so they won’t feel alone and others experience what they are experiencing. Most is probably done on a subconscious level but they mean everything they are doing. I would keep the school informed as much as possible, take it to the district, and I would confront the parent with a police officer or other medium to avoid any possibility of a parent being able to cry wolf like this wretched little girl. I hope someone could confront this girl in a fierce manner and tell her they feel sorry for her and watch her crumble that way. I bet if anyone showed her pity, her whole demeanor would change. Hugs to you during this.
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Stronger laws against “bullying”? What does that mean? Are you seriously saying that you want to litigate ugly behavior? How is that going to work out for your twinkly daughter’s mindset when she gets into the real world and finds out that sometimes people don’t like you?
Or are you going to push for harder laws against that too?
A lot of people are happy to tell you what a great job you are doing. But all I see is someone with a deep rooted victim personality, teaching it to their offspring.
I think you should bring it up at a school board meeting – guess what – a decision will be made then! I pulled my daughter from her (private Christian) school last year due to bullying – IN 1ST GRADE! I was appalled and the school did nothing – they are so afraid to do anything – every parent with a horrible child threatens to sue the school! So, I am homeschooling my daughter – SO SHE CAN SHINE!
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