So, this friend of mine on Twitter @thesecondset read the post I wrote about my complete morbid fascination with camel toes and she wanted to share her story. It’s kinda gross, I was probably making the same face my cat does when she sniffs my other cats butt. Anyways, you can read her blog here.
Oh the workplace. It is a breeding ground for crude humor, caddy women and of course, the “one” person in the office who literally wins the most talked about behind their back award.
My old office, said person was known as The Camel. Picture this, mid 30’s overweight, watermelon sized boobs, squeezed into a size 6 Forever 21 tee. She proclaimed they just don’t make shirts for her size breasts. I say… honey – step away from the Juniors Department!
Now picture this, tan (oh yes…even camel colored!) size 6 slacks squeezed into a size 12 body. The super market used to call our office and ask if we had any cottage cheese because they ran out! Think on that for a second. Pants should never be parted by the beaver.
The Camel would come into work drinking a Venti Brevi Mocha proclaiming she was on the Atkins diet and could only drink full fat Brevi’s and eat bacon and cheese omelets for breakfast! She dug through the candy dish and grabbed all the Bit-o-Honeys , surely they were not Atkins approved – but apparently the Atkins book she had made an exception. She would grab her pant waistband and pull it out with all her camel strength then suck in her stomach and pronounced she lost 10 lbs on the Atkins diet eating pure pig fat and drinking pure cream with a shot of coffee!
Is this even real? YES my friends! My camel hunting coworker would call me whenever The Camel entered the office and let me know to get my hunting gear on The Camel was heading my way. Our imaginary gear consisted of a safari hat and naturally, a rain coat because camels – spit!
In my caddy defense, The Camel was honestly the most annoying person in our office. She was a complete know it all, which got her a second nick name of “Normally”. She prefaced everything with “Normally” we copy like this. She even said to my hunting buddy, Normally women don’t look good in baby pink, except you do, she added with just enough of a pause to make you think she was insulting you. Baby pink just happened to be the color my coworker was wearing that day. I am just saying she likely earned her spot as the most talked about person in the office.