As usual, I’m a couple days late posting a rant. But, I’m here now and I’m going to go ahead and give everyone a piece of me…er…my mind.
The mermaid. The whale. That fabulous meme that was going viral on Facebook and causing a sensation amongst women of all shapes and sizes. I’m not going to post it here because my assumption is that most of you have read that fabulous piece of writing.
I’ve been both.
I was the mermaid. Many times.
As the mermaid, I felt sexy and strong. I had a bounce to my step and a wiggle to my butt. I turned heads, both mens and women’s. Confidence oozed from every pore.
I struggled to keep my weight down. I was conscious of everything that went in mouth. To me, it was worth it because I was one of the skinny girls. I could walk into any store, pick clothes without trying them on because I just knew they’d look good on me.
It was a great feeling to be one of “them”.
I’ve been the whale. As often as the mermaid.
Right now, I am the whale.
My body transformed into something I’m not overly proud of. I hide under loose clothing. Large breasts and a larger bottom make me want to hide, sure that people are wondering how I can be seen in public, looking the way I do.
With 40 extra pounds clinging to me, my confidence is hiding with my inner mermaid, waiting to reemerge from the depths of the sea of fatness.
But, I’m fat for a reason. It’s not that I’m sitting, binge eating on carbs and sugar. My thyroid is cuckoo. I’ve written about it way too many times and I’m not here to defend.
I don’t eat a lot. In fact, I hardly eat at all. Especially since I started taking Zoloft.
That post, The Mermaid and The Whale…it made me embrace my curves, if only for a moment. It made me feel that it’s OK, I am who I am and that is enough.
It made me look at my stretch marks as a reward for giving birth to my three beautiful children.
The space between my wide hips was a place where my children spent the first 9 months of their lives, growing strong and ready to live outside of me.
My breasts, larger in my whale state than my mermaid, not perky anymore because I fed my children. They gave them the proper nourishment needed to thrive.
I am soft for my children to cuddle with me and find comfort.
I am wide for strong, sturdy hugs.
My legs are thick so that I may stand my ground and never waver in emotional storms.
That post also made me appreciate that, no matter what body size I am, it’s OK.
We are women.
We are strong.
We are beautiful.
We are perfect the way we are.
We are loved by many.
We love strongly and emotionally.
We need to learn to appreciate ourselves the way others do. We have to stop bashing ourselves based on our size.
We need to be healthy so that we are here to watch our children grow and our children’s children.
We women need to raise each other up instead of sneering, glaring and shooting each other down.
We mermaids and whales swim the same oceans, our stories are all different yet we have so much in common.
We are a village, not just for our children, but for each other.
And that is what I got from reading the Mermaid and the Whale meme on Facebook.
To me, it had nothing to do with fighting obesity the way a few bloggers turned it into. It had to do with appreciating ourselves and appreciating each other. For our similarities and our differences. For our curves and our lines.
Appreciate us for who we are.
We are women…fat, thin or in-between.
We are mothers.
We are wives.
We are daughters.
We are sisters.
We are friends.
Hear us roar.