School Is In Full Swing And So Is The Drama

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School is in full swing.

Much like childbirth, during the long summer months of rest, relaxation and hoarse throat from yelling at the kids to leave you alone for 5 minutes, you forget about all the pains of the trials and tribulations…and DRAMA…of the school year.

But, I remember now. I’m reminded on a daily basis.

The whining because they don’t like the lunches I pack and they are “soooooooo hungry” when they get home because they threw said lunch out.

The constant barrage of texts throughout the day. This one is unhappy with that teacher. That one is pissed off at a friend.

Mid-morning phone calls, because now they are allowed to use their phones during school (seriously, WTF is that about?) telling me there is no money in the lunch account and they didn’t bring a lunch.

Dear children, there is no money in the lunch account because we spent thousands of dollars last year for you to eat school cafeteria food at $8 a day per kid. I don’t even spend $8 a day on food when I go out for lunch with my friends. Well, not every day. And even if I did, I’m allowed to because I’m drinking wine with lunch so that I can deal with your whining when you get home. And we aren’t putting money into your lunch account because we, the united parental front, decided that you were going to pack lunches. YOU. YOURSELVES. Because, that way, when you get home from school, you can yell at yourself for packing crappy lunches which cause you to sit through the rest of the day embarrassed by stomach rumbles. Besides, dear children, you are old enough to be responsible enough to pack your own lunches. And, if you don’t like what I buy, even though it was requested by you, then you are S.O.L. I love you SO much.
Love, Mommy

Oh, the school year. I long for you all summer long. I look forward to a few hours a day of peace and solitude, one where I can pee without having to carry on a conversation with children who are sitting and waiting for me outside the door.

I complain of bored and whiny kids who expect to be constantly entertained. I complain of having to prepare three meals a day, one of which usually is made with a phone call to the pizza delivery joint.

And now, with the school year FINALLY here, the time I get to myself is still trampled on by a herd of children with cell phones. My concentration is broken by “Hi Mom, wuts up?” or “Hey mom i’m bored lol”.

Back in the good old days, pre-cellphone aged kids, the school year was a real vacation. Mostly uninterrupted days with exception of the school offices calling to inform me of a sick kid or someone who got in trouble. But that was OK, it was easily handled by two adults having a conversation.

Now, with the kids having cell phones in their sweaty little hands, emergencies pop up all day long. Even non-emergencies.

So, from here on in, between the hours of 7:30 am – 3pm, I will not be accepting any phone calls from certain programmed numbers. Unless it’s a true emergency like a broken head or a high grade fever accompanied by vomiting and diarrhea. I’ll accept one text a day per child because I love my kids and don’t mind hearing from them…ONCE A DAY.


Dear children, Yes, I realize a new rule has been mandated in your school. Something about using cell phones during class as long as it doesn’t interrupt the teacher…(Seriously, WTF?). But, here in our house, the rule is…during school hours, you are only allowed to use your phone during lunch or in case of a REAL emergency. Otherwise, be prepared to cross my palm with your phone upon arrival home. I love you SO much. Love, Mommy.

Ah yes, the school year. Only a week in and I already could use a vacation.

And I don’t mean Winter Break either.




  1. says

    WOW. When I was in high school (graduated in ’05), the rule was that cell phones could not be seen or heard from like 7am to 2pm or whatnot (school hours), and that if we wanted to use them AFTER school it was fine. I didn’t have texting and my first cell phone was this gigantic brick of a thing that made calls and that was IT! lol.

  2. Nancy [Spinning my plates] says

    Yours is a cautionary tale. Mine aren’t old enough for phones yet and I’m seriously thinking of making them wait until college after reading this.
    Nancy [Spinning my plates]´s last blog post ..7.2 and holding

  3. LB says

    Dude! $8 a day for lunch?!?! Per kid?!?! They better be getting 4 course meals for that much! And I work at a high school so I’m pretty sure they are not supposed to be texting you during the day. In fact, I’m pretty much famous among our students for my cellphone confiscations. I once collected four phones in one class period. I’m that good; they cannot hide from me. So if you really want them to leave you alone, call the school administration and tell them that your kids are texting your during class. Then they can confiscate the phones and voila! Your problems are solved. Well, at least one of your problems is solved. You’re welcome.

  4. says

    Wow – I’m seriously surprised at the lack of rules for cell phone use at school. We had to sign an agreement stating that we understand that cell phones may not be used during class; they can’t even be seen! It also states that any staff member has the right to confiscate the phone at any time, for any reason and that they also have the right to review all content stored on the phone.
    Christina S.´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday: Kids For Less

  5. says

    When i was a kid I couldn’t wait to get away from my parents even though they were loving.

    Now our kids are up our ass- even phoning it in (and we wonder) and ask ourselves did we do something wrong or are we doing everything right?
    Jen´s last blog post the sand and water

  6. Elizabeth Wheelock says

    Wow! What’s up with the cell phones in schools? times had certanly changed for sure. Back in the day if were even caught daydreaming, you get in trouble for not doing your work!

  7. karen says

    WTF?????they let the kids use cell phones during school, I promise, if my kid EVER takes his phone to school, and he EVER calls me during the day, I will kick the EVER LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM!! (he will be told ONCE)tootaloo!

  8. Valerie says

    whooaa…thats unfair..when I was in high school my professor FIRST one using phones when in class..and inside just sneaking on it..because when you see by the dean..OUCH!..byeee2x phones,,
    Valerie´s last blog post ..Accommodation Grand Bornand

  9. says

    My children went to a private school and the rule was “phones in the box until school is over or you’re given permission to use it.” I don’t know how kids can learn while distracted by phones. Love your rule.
    Pamela´s last blog post ..Is There Power in Prayer?

  10. Jessica @FoundtheMarbles says

    I so get this! We’re going to be getting our son a phone at an early age b/c he has some health issues and I want to be able to reach him to know that he is ok. Yet there will be a written list of phone bylaws in full effect.