I was thin once. Or twice.
I used to be fat, too.
I was also quite chunky.
Then, I got thin again.
Which led right into fat again.
Doctors might consider me obese. I shudder at that.
I’m a human yo-yo.
I’m dizzy from the constant perpetual motion.
I don’t know how to stop this up and down cycle.
It’s spiraling out of control.
I’m along for the ride my body takes me on.
It was suggested to me that stress was the leading factor in my weight problems.
Stress makes cortisol which makes FAT.
The way my weight is a yo-yo, my stress is an infinite mountain permanently set within me.
Through my body issues I’ve become less judgmental of morbidly obese people. Maybe they are like me, they are trapped within a fat suit and are desperately looking for the emergency exit zipper.
When I was approached by a reality tv show production company asking me to help them promote their casting call for the Detroit area, I said absolutely. The email described the show as being for women who have between 50-100 pounds to lose (that’s me) who feel desperate (that’s me).
I responded that I would, indeed help promote.
Then, I asked if I could try out.
And try out, I did.
I went through weeks of a long and arduous process.
And more videos.
The most painful part of the video was seeing the size I have become(and how messy my house really is). Yes, I realize ten pounds are added but at this point, ten pounds ain’t got nothin on me. It’s confirmed and in my face, I have the biggest ass I’ve ever seen.
There is way too much shake with my fries.
So here I sit, a girl whose only reality tv I dabble in is House Hunters, crossing my fingers and praying to a G-D I’m not so sure I believe in, hoping beyond hope that I get casted on this reality tv show.
I feel like it could quite possibly be that emergency exit zipper I’ve been searching for.
I’m pretty far in the process. I don’t know when I’ll hear, or IF I’ll hear anymore.
All I know is, I want this.