I was thin once. Or twice.
I used to be fat, too.
I was also quite chunky.
Then, I got thin again.
Which led right into fat again.
Doctors might consider me obese. I shudder at that.
I’m a human yo-yo.
I’m dizzy from the constant perpetual motion.
I don’t know how to stop this up and down cycle.
It’s spiraling out of control.
I’m along for the ride my body takes me on.
It was suggested to me that stress was the leading factor in my weight problems.
Stress makes cortisol which makes FAT.
The way my weight is a yo-yo, my stress is an infinite mountain permanently set within me.
Through my body issues I’ve become less judgmental of morbidly obese people. Maybe they are like me, they are trapped within a fat suit and are desperately looking for the emergency exit zipper.
When I was approached by a reality tv show production company asking me to help them promote their casting call for the Detroit area, I said absolutely. The email described the show as being for women who have between 50-100 pounds to lose (that’s me) who feel desperate (that’s me).
I responded that I would, indeed help promote.
Then, I asked if I could try out.
And try out, I did.
I went through weeks of a long and arduous process.
And more videos.
The most painful part of the video was seeing the size I have become(and how messy my house really is). Yes, I realize ten pounds are added but at this point, ten pounds ain’t got nothin on me. It’s confirmed and in my face, I have the biggest ass I’ve ever seen.
There is way too much shake with my fries.
So here I sit, a girl whose only reality tv I dabble in is House Hunters, crossing my fingers and praying to a G-D I’m not so sure I believe in, hoping beyond hope that I get casted on this reality tv show.
I feel like it could quite possibly be that emergency exit zipper I’ve been searching for.
I’m pretty far in the process. I don’t know when I’ll hear, or IF I’ll hear anymore.
All I know is, I want this.
Tara R. says
Good luck with the show. No matter what you see, other people see how beautiful you really are.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..Up a bayou with a paddle
i hope you make it!!
lonek8´s last blog post ..BlogHer Book Club Giveaway!- A Jane Austen Education
Good luck to you with the show. Regardless… I’m rooting for you. I’m right there with you.
Colleen´s last blog post ..Where- oh where- oh where is Zoe
I feel for you. I hope you get picked. But, if not, never ever ever ever give up. Just keep trying.
MomZombie´s last blog post ..And they lived happily ever after — but not the way you think
Shut the hell up!!! Like Biggest Loser??? You go, girlfriend. I hope you get chosen b/c I’m going to need you to hook a sister up!! Just kidding, but I am totally jealous of the possibility!
You’re doing a brave thing, and I’m proud of ya for giving it a shot. Good luck – I’m crossing my fingers and toes.
Joni´s last blog post ..Portage Playwrights Work Selected for Fenton Festival
Good Luck! I’m sitting in my own fat suit, wishing a way out. Because my body doesn’t make cortisol (which also helps the body respond to stress,) I take steroids for that. The more stress, the more steroids. A cold is considered stressful in a body that can’t respond correctly, so I am constantly adjusting the levels. Steroids, in conjunction with orders to do no exercise more *stressful* than walking, make you FAT. At first, I just let it go, and bought new clothes. After all, clothes that made me feel like a sausage weren’t helping anything.
But how many sizes can I go up before I can do anything about it?
Jill´s last blog post ..Love notes-
If you get on a show, I’ll totally watch it. You can even tell them that. Not that they’re going to care that I, some random girl they don’t know, will watch their show. But still, I’m behind you 100% baby!
Shana D says
I have my fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed for you!
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Zoey @ Good Goog says
I hope you get it! Everything is crossed xox
Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog post ..203-365 Day 20 – Bokeh