To My Children:
Don’t think I don’t understand. I was you once. All of you.
I was that shy girl, so insecure that I couldn’t look up in the hall, my feet led me from class to class. Grade to grade. Never looking up until I grew up.
I was that kid, so rebellious and mad, much smarter than my parents. Or so I thought.
I was moody. Slamming my bedroom door until I had no more door to slam, it was removed…along with any privacy…for over a year.
My parents wanted and I refused to give. I wanted and my parents refused to give. It was war between hormones and knowledge.
Hormones never win. They lead you astray. They are the apple. They are the devil on your shoulder.
Open at least one ear, let your parents words run around your head. We do know. We are right.
I WAS you once.
Upon a time.
Not all that long ago.
Close enough where I can still hear the teases and taunts on the playground leaving me permanently scared and insecure about my butt.
Close enough that my heart still pounds as I feel the breath on my face as I lean toward my first kiss.
Close enough to remember my heart sinking in angst.
Close enough to want to shake her, that girl who didn’t listen.
I’m grown. My experiences still stay with me. The memories still vivid. The emotions still raw.
I remember.
I remember everything.
So when you roll your eyes and turn your back to ignore, know that inside me is who and where you are now.
I DO understand. More than you will ever know.
Until someday.
When you have kids of your own.
And the kid that you once were comes close to the surface again.
To be completely ignored by your children.
Then maybe that’s when you’ll realize that I did understand and that I offered an experienced hand.
But for now, you’ll do this journey somewhat alone.
We all do.
With our parents watching, wringing their rejected hands together.
But always know that you aren’t alone.
I am here.
I will listen.
I love you.
More than you will ever know.
Love,
Mom
I am not looking forward to the tween and teen years. It’s no wonder some people drink.
My twentysomething friend is currently scanning all of her diaries from her teens into her computer so that one day (she doesn’t have kids yet, but plans to eventually) she can show them to her kids so they can see she’s been through the rough stuff too. I admire her planning, but I’m not sure if I’d be as willing to share the uncensored side of my teen years.
That said, I hope the kids realize what a great mom they have in you and let you do your job… nurturing them.
No. It’s not “more than you will ever know”. They WILL know – just about the time people start calling you “Gandma”. THEN they’ll know. And if they don’t seem to understand that – if htey feel like they’re the first parents ever to feel that way – well then, it’s your sacred duty to let them know. Do the guilt. They’ll deserve it.
lceel´s last blog post ..Monday Meanders 6-13
Perfect! Too bad they are kids and don’t listen; because we do know and we do remember.
Gigi´s last blog post ..Dear God – its only 7-45 pm Hes lucky I like him
This is it. They really don’t understand that we were once where they are now. I hope your children do leave that ‘one ear open’ and remember you are there for them always.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..Making sense of it all
Perfect… just perfect.
Colleen´s last blog post ..Weight for Me Monday – week 10
You think that you know your parents love you until you have kids and you realise you’ve entirely underestimated the magnitude of it.
Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog post ..197-365 Day 14 – Eyes
You said it perfectly. You don’t know how much your mom & dad love you until you have a little baby yourself. It’s amazing how much love you feel and how you wish you could ‘save’ them from what’s coming up next. You said it perfectly.
Kara´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday What a difference 20 years makes
Hi Missy, nicely put, straight to the point!!!
Rada´s last blog post ..Look what you have done to me!!!
I love this post. I have tears in my eyes because I know that’s how my parents must have felt when I didn’t listen to them. As a teen I always knew they were right…and life was so much better for all of us once I accepted that. Beautiful post!
Patty´s last blog post ..Sundays in My City- On the way to NKOTBSB
As a kid my parents used to tell me they understood because they “were there” once, just like me. And yet it seemed as though they expected perfection. Which is a far cry from what they got 🙂 Like some of the previous commenters, I have saved some things from my high school years. So that when I see myself in him, I will remember not to expect perfection.
The Sweetest´s last blog post ..Tuesday’s List
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
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