I’ve been feeling invisible.
A speck on the radar.
Not in real life. I’m doing fine there. If I feel invisible, I just have to yell and jump around, someone is bound to take notice.
But in my social media life, all capital letters and virtual black lace bra throwing has as much impact as asking my children to put their plates in the sink.
More spaces online to spread my wealth of stupid knowledge and ramblings.
Yet, most of the time, they go unnoticed. Unheard.
I guess I’m feeling a little sorry for myself. I can’t help it, I suppose. Because, I WANTTTTT.
I’ve just been feeling so overlooked and under-appreciated here. I watch newer bloggers get fabulous opportunities and I can’t help feeling, aside from happy for them, a bit jealous and curious.
Why not me?
Hey, I’ve been here for a long time, I’m practically as old as the dinosaurs, minus the extinction.
I have mad writing skillz, sometimes.
A pretty decent personality.
I play well with others.
Yeah, I know. I always say that I’m here, in my space, to write.
Well, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
OK, I am. Totally. Because, aside from my family, I live and breathe words.
I also am curious how it is that the things I try never succeed?
How come those I choose to work with don’t seem to WANT as badly as I do?
I’m reaching for the stars, I don’t expect instant gratification. I happen to know better.
I want though.
I’ve thought of trying to reinvent myself but I can’t.
I’ve considered switching to strictly reviews and giveaways.
UGH. Painful. I have a headache, just thinking about that.
I’ve considered sharing way more info than I should yet, it’s not worth the familial ramifications.
So, reinventing isn’t for me. I am who I am. I write how I write.
Yet, in a feeling completely sorry for myself type of way, it isn’t good enough here, online.
The reality of online success…it is NOT necessarily about quality. It’s about quantity.
It’s a numbers game. There’s no denying that fact.
You have the big numbers, the freaking STATS, you get the fab opportunities. Period.
It depends on the clique you hang in. Well, I’m not in a clique. I never was and I never will be. I’m a floater, just like I was when I was younger.
So, my words aren’t flowing as freely these days. I mean, holy crap, it’s been a week since I last blogged. That’s so unlike me.
In the meantime, I have nothing worth saying. Not really. Yet, the funny thing is, I have more incomplete drafts than ever before.
Well, the words will come back, they always do.
I’ll stop feeling sorry for myself, I’m sure.
Then I’ll go back about my business. Writing and wondering why it is that everything within the bloggy world is the way it is. And is it even really worth wasting my time pondering.