Promises Lied

The boy sat, rocking gently his chair. He absentmindedly spooned cereal into his mouth while his eyes were fixed out past the picture window, past the front yard where the weeping willow tree was just beginning to blossom its white buds. Spring was starting to appear and with it came a sense of euphoric hope. He stared out into the street in front of his house and waited. Hopeful.

She would be here, she had promised him last night when she called. Mommies always keep their promises. That’s what daddy said last night after he read to him and Aunt Kel promised this morning as she poured his orange juice. They just had to be right, they both know a lot of stuff. They’re grown ups. Besides, Mommy wouldn’t do it again, she promised. She promised.

Breakfast turned to lunch which turned to dinner. Most of his day had been spent running to and from the window where he would stare for long periods of time, begging and pleading in his head, hoping someone would hear. The sky began to darken and so did Evans mood. She wasn’t coming. She left him again, she lied, as usual.

Aunt Kel was wrong. Daddy was wrong. He will never believe anything anyone says, especially if it’s a promise, ever again.

Headlights shone into the front window as a car turned into the driveway. Excited, Evan ran to the door and sprung it open. Defeated, he turned away and threw himself onto the couch. It was only daddy returning home from work.

Evans cries turned to wracking, piteous sobs. He felt like his heart was broken and it would take more than the scoop of ice cream that daddy was offering, to fix it.

His mommy didn’t love him. She didn’t want him. He must be a yucky kid because mommys always love their children. He always noticed how moms hug and kiss his classmates and he aches for that. Only, his mom doesn’t think he is good enough to see, let alone kiss and hug.

Evan was tired of always wishing his mommy would remember to see him. He was tired of being hopeful.

Evan ate the ice cream and got ready for bed. He heard the phone ring and his dads hushed voice, angry voice. He climbed into his bed, waiting for his dad to read to him. Walking into his room, his dad handed him the phone.

Evan, in his bravest voice, said hello to his mother. She was crying and apologizing on the other end. He just nodded and grunted. Before she said goodbye, she promised him she would come over in the morning to spend the day with him. He knew she had her fingers crossed, just like he does when he makes promises he doesn’t want to keep.

Evan hung up without goodbye. His stomach hurt and he felt sick. He let his dad read the two chapters of his favorite Junie B. Jones book and faked falling asleep.

He felt his dad close the book and then kiss him, whispering in his ear how much he loved him. Evan knew that already, and that was fine. He loved his daddy too. But, he longed for a mommy he would never have.

When his dad left his room, he rolled onto his tummy and with all hope gone, he cried himself to sleep.

image: google

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