My 7 year old is very attached to me. I’m so much more than OK with that because I happen to return the attachment ten-fold. He’s my baby, my youngest and I guess I’m trying to hold on to his childhood and slow it down as much as I can.
Every night, since he was a tiny little guy, I’ve been the only one who puts him to bed. On occasion, as in…if I’m not here, my husband will take over. Yeah, it gets annoying after awhile because, reality, I’m sick of lying in bed with him every night at 9 and falling asleep, only to wake up at 11:30 to go to bed in my room. That’s 2 hours I’ve missed hanging out on the internet.
BUT. Every night, when I’m lying in bed with my son, after the stories have been read, the questions and conversations begin. Some of our best conversations occur in the car. But the other best and sweetest conversations happen when we are snuggling.
It’s during this time when my son whispers wetly in my ear how much he loves me, in between asking why the grass is green, the sky is blue and what does G-D look like. He tells me that he is going to marry me and live with me forever, after he has begged me to tell him how babies are really made. Which…ew.
The other night, we were reading one of the Captain Underpants books, his new favorite series. I had the book resting on my stomach and was reading while enjoying the hilarity that these books are.
Suddenly, he slams his hand down on the book, closing it onto my tummy. He takes his hand and turns my head toward him, eyes blazing into mine…
“Mommy?” he is SO serious. He had clearly been thinking about what he is about to say for quite awhile.
“Yes, my love?” I’m sure that he’s about to ask me one of his questions that send me running to Google for answers.
“Mommy, would you die for me?” He is staring so intensely at me.
“Oh honey, of course I would. I would die a million times for you.”
He shakes his head. “No. NO Mommy. You shouldn’t ever die for me. You should let me die so you could live.” He’s passionate about this.
“I couldn’t do that. I would die without you.”
“Mommy, I would die without YOU.”
Then he took the book off my stomach and placed it back into my hands, insinuating that I should continue reading and that the case had been closed and his question answered.
So I did. I continued to read the book, not listening to what I was reading anymore.
I realized that the thought of my not being here scares him more than the thought of his not being here, that’s totally a child thing and I get that. But, still…