Every year since the establishment of the kingdom, the King has vehemently refused to enlist in outside help in the area of snow removal.
Every year he gives a big speech about the five healthy royal children are perfectly able to shovel our way out of the white dungeon. He goes on and on about when he was young, his parents made he and his siblings shovel their driveway, therefore his children shall have the same chore thrust upon them. No matter how cold or how much snow.
Generally, over the last few years, there hasn’t been a ton of snow. So despite the way the Queen was raised, with outside services taking care of the snow removal. Which, takes a matter of a few minutes. The Queen bundles up her babes and hands them their snow battling weapons. Shovels.
They do a royal half-assed job. And they come in demanding hot chocolate.
Done.
Every year.
And then…
Last night, contrary to the Reigning Queen Supremes wishes, a snowstorm hit the kingdom. Oh no, not the Tsnownami Snowclone as expected. The royal courtyard as seen from the royal sliding glass door.
Just a mere dusting which left us with approximately 8 inches, give or take a snowdrift..
The King, despite the fact that more snow had fallen than the children were used to shoveling, gave his Royal ranting speech to the Queen, over coffee.
The children were, indeed, going to be in charge of shoveling the snow.
And they got bundled up.
They were, once again, armed with shovels.
And…there was just too much snow. So they came in and had their hot chocolate.
The King ranted.
The King raved.
The King REFUSED to listen to the Queen. No snow removal service shall be called upon. The King will take care of it himself.
So, he bundled up.
He threw a couple of the Royal Brats into the car to take over to their friends house.
And he backed out of the unplowed, deeply snowed in driveway.
Then, he did what only a Royal Joker would attempt to do…
He decided to take the Royal Honda Pilot and flatten the snow in the driveway himself.
Where it got VERY stuck.
Note the useless shovel.
So the King ranted. And he raved.
He gave a loud speech to the Queen, which she blocked out, and then he demanded she send out a couple of kids to help him in his quest for car freedom.
An army of 2 kids were deployed.
Their efforts were futile.
The car…was stuck.
So, the King.
He came in the house.
He grabbed the Persian rug from the foyer.
He placed it under the back tires of the Honda Pilot which was stuck in a snowdrift at the bottom of the driveway.
He put the car in in reverse…
And he drove off.
Cursing about something that had broken underneath the car and he hoped it wasn’t anything important…
Leaving the precious rug that the Queen loved in the driveway that was still piled high with snow.
Where another car just happens to be snowed in, as well.
The Queen looked at the mess in the driveway.
She looked at the mess in the front hall.
She thought about her husband and his speech about kids and shoveling…
And as the Queen was cleaning up…
she thought to herself…
a snow plow service would only have cost about $250 for the season.
That rug and a broken car?
The Queen…she sighed.
I don’t know how anyone stays married. I honestly don’t. I would have called the snow plow first and asked for forgiveness later. I suppose this is why I am single.
Bless your heart. I would have totally sent him to the tower.
YES!!!!! theres the kingdom stories I love, and the characters in it, are well, just so perfect for your stories, you would think you had to completely make them up, but oh no, 100% authentic!
Ah… I’ve missed the Royal Family. Wonderful tale from the Kingdom.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..Junkyard
Ah those darn Kings. Sometimes they cause more trouble than they are worth.
Gigi´s last blog post ..If you think this title is boring just wait until you see the post
Another reason why I live in LA. It is 72 today and I am cold- but the driveway is clear.
Jack´s last blog post ..Writers Write Right
Clever writing! I’m sure the experience wasn’t fun, but it was fun reading. 🙂
Nikki Stephan´s last blog post ..Chevy South by Southwest Road Trip is Back…and Detroit Has Two Teams
Thanks for making me laugh this morning! Kings can be a royal pain in the ass.
Le’Ann´s last blog post ..Tick-Tick-Tick
I love that you whipped the ruler out!
Vera @ Lady and the Blog´s last blog post ..Crossbody Handbags- 7 Looks To Gear Up For Spring
I hate to say this but my DH would say the same thing if we lived in a place where it snowed. He talks of his childhood of shoveling and even admits it is not a life he would like to return to, however, I believe should we ever be in that position I would hear of his life of shoveling. Much like he speaks of the boys being old enough to take out the trash very soon. If it were me I would’ve called for the service and told the King tough noogies. But your way is much funnier.
Candice @ Fashionably Organized´s last blog post ..Fashionista-To-Be
Alas, in this kingdom the Queen & the eldest prince do ALL the shoveling, as the King’s carriage has 4WD and makes it to work. And alack, when the Queen’s brother got his car stuck and wound up sliding through the backyard, the Queen dug that out as well. On the upside, the Queen is developing some wicked biceps.
robin´s last blog post ..Welcome to My Snowman House of Horror