The Wall Street Journal Online published a
ridiculous, arrogant and pompous article entitled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” by Amy Chua.
Personally, I’m not going to get into the poo throwing drama that always ensues when things of this nature occur online.
Because, you see, I’m a Jewish mother. And, in all honesty, Chinese mothers have NOTHING on us.
Unlike Ms. Chua who informs us that Chinese mothers don’t let their children do anything except school work and practicing their instruments while being belittled by their Mommy dearest who is standing over them, arms and brows crossed…
We Jewish mothers encourage our children to soar and expand their horizons, on the most part, while maintaining some sort of control.
Where Ms Chua writes that Chinese mothers don’t allow their children to:
attend sleepovers at friends houses NOR have playdates, participate in school plays and the aren’t allowed to complain about it, watch TV or play video games (weird), choose their own extracurricular activities, no grade less than an A and they must maintain top student status at all times, play an instrument except piano or violin…
Jewish mothers are, from my experience, opposite. Yes, we expect a lot from our children too. After all, we want to be able to brag about our child the doctor or lawyer.
But, you see, we can allow them their freedom to express themselves, play whatever instrument they want (within reason, I draw the line at drums), watch TV and play video games for an alloted period of time, be kids and do what kids like to do. We want our children to have happy and successful lives but we need to have a life too.
We Jewish moms have a little secret weapon though. One which, when the Jewish mother was born, had it instilled into her from their Jewish mother and so on down the line.
We have the ever cocked and loaded Jewish guilt.
No amount of standing over our children 24 hours a day, giving up our own lives and sanity, will even accomplish what the “g” word can and we mix it with praise and kisses.
Jewish (I’m using Jewish as lightly as she used Chinese, because parents of this hemisphere come in all sorts of backgrounds) parents believe, without any doubt, that their children are the best and therefore will do the best and achieve the best…that they are capable of. And they don’t need to name call or belittle to achieve this.
The kids of Jewish families have to sit at kitchen tables, desks, wherever…until their homework is complete and their studying is done.
I don’t know, I don’t need to stand over them. I can actually leave the house and grocery shop for the ingredients for dinner and trust that they aren’t on their laptops, instant messaging on Facebook…oh, wait, hmm…
If we are met with resistance or belligerence…
We do the same thing any mother except, of course, the Chinese mother, would do…
We send them to their rooms and expect them to marinate in their bad behavior.
Not without dinner though because the thought of our child going hungry is almost as horrible as the thought of our child going without a warm coat in the winter.
I could go on. But I won’t. Because my point, which probably isn’t being pointed out is…
Chinese moms aren’t any better than any of the moms that I know personally.
And really? Jewish people are probably as successful as the Chinese only there aren’t as many of us…thanks to certain historical events.
I have to agree with Ms. Chua’s husband when he says, to paraphrase, kids don’t choose their parents nor do they choose to be born. Therefore, why do the kids “owe” their parents anything?
Right on, Mr. MsChua.
Chinese parents believe their kids owe them everything? Well, so do Jewish parents. And we expect payback in the form of really posh nursing homes, thankyouverymuch.
It’s not just Chinese parents that believe they know what’s best for their children. We do too. It’s part of our guilt and control.
Parents of every walk of life, except those who neglect or abuse their children (and I’ll bet there are some that are Chinese, too) want to be able to give to their children the resources to fly from the nest and have fabulous and productive lives.
It ain’t just the Chinese.
A good parent is a good parent. Period. End of story.
I dunno. I thought the whole article was so incredibly laughable and, quite frankly, was shocked to see that it was in a publication as big as the Wall Street Journal. I mean, I realize that the freedom of speech exists and I love that about our country. But sometimes people need to be told to shut the fuck up.