Driving anywhere with my 6 year old is always quite an eye opening event. For some reason, the conversations that take place with me in the drivers seat and him in his booster seat are better than the ones at the kitchen table.
Today, this morning, pre-coffee car ride to school…was no exception. And yes, it’s amazing what a difference in the quickness and clarity of thought when there is caffeine coursing through my veins.
Him: Mommy, how do babies come out of Mommies crotch?
We haven’t even gotten out of our subdivision yet. It’s rush hour. This…is going to be a long drive.
Me: Um, well. Mommies vaginas open bigger so that the baby can come out.
Him: How do they actually get out?
Me: Mommies push them out. Kind of like when you have to go to the bathroom.
Him: Oh, like a poop? So they come out of your tushie?
Me: No, out of the vagina.
Him: Wouldn’t it just be easier if they came out of your tushie.
It’s quiet for a moment. I’m crossing my fingers that he moves on to something like his upcoming 7th birthday party (next week, omg, he’s going to be 7!). I’m praying to every g-d there is that he starts talking about Ben 10 or Mario as I hear him open his mouth and draw a breath as he begins his conversation again…
Me: (uh oh) Yes honey.
I really, really wish I had made coffee at this point.
Him: Mommy? How do babies get in there to begin with.
Me: (Oh holy hell, this conversation, this early? HELP ME) Well, my love. Mommies and Daddies have a special hug that makes a baby. (This worked before, I’m hoping it works again)
He’s not buying it. I can actually hear his brain working.
Him: OK, you told me that before Mommy. But this special hug? What happens during it that puts the baby in the Mommy’s tummy?
Him: Mommy? Did you hear me? How. Does. That. Hug. Work?
Me: Um, OK. I don’t know how to explain it to you.
Him: Mom. I am NOT going to ask my teacher. I have a feeling that it’s VERY inappropriate.
Me: Yeah. NO. Don’t ask your teacher. I’ll get in trouble.
Him: Mommy. When you get home, ask Twitter, they’ll tell you.
We pull up to car pool line, grabs his stuff and jumps out. He tells me to not forget to ask. And…he thanked me. OMG.
OK. Hurry, he’s going to be home at 3. How do I explain, in an age appropriate way, how a baby gets inside a Mom. Without traumatizing him. The special hug explanation isn’t working anymore. Sigh. My step daughter, when she was this age, her mom had already told her all about sex. She new way too much and she shared her knowledge with the 3 other big kids, luckily my 6 year old wasn’t around yet. I don’t want him to know too much too early. I don’t think it’s healthy emotionally.
So, darling friends inside my computer, what would you tell your six year old in regards to sex?
Well, I think you are on the right track with the whole special hug thing. I always throw in something like, “God made our bodies work this way. We are so lucky.” You know, it’s okay to say, “when you are eight (or whatever age you think is most apporpriate for the given question) we will tell you more about how this special hug works.” The general rule of thumb is, only answer the exact questions asked, but sometimes a little diversionary strategy is in order too….
Luckily E hasn’t pushed on the mechanics of the how the baby gets in there question.
Can my little boy just stay a toddler so that I never have to deal with this? No? Didn’t think so.
I needed to read this post today. Got me out of my doldrums. I don’t have an answer. My oldest asked quite a number of questions but not at 6./ At 7/8 I bought her the American Girl Guide to the Care and Keeping of You. It didn’t talk about sex, but dealt with breasts, puberty, and periods. She’s an avid reader so read far too many YA books — I think she picked up her knowledge from books. With my 2nd I had a more frank discussion with her around the same age 7/8 to make sure she understood the basics. My son is now the same age. I bought him a couple of kid-focused books on sex. I’m hoping to read them to/with him when I get up the nerve. Good luck to you.
MusingsfromMe/Jill´s last blog post ..Yoplait Lids Save Lives
Lara DiPaola "Momma" says
Ha! So my kids aren’t the only ones! I think we need to revive the days of “Kids Say The Darndest Things”.
Wow. I’m thinking someone may have already given him some information? That’s usually what brings up the questions. Lauren’s advice is good. You don’t have to go into detail. And, odds are good he will have moved on to a new topic by this afternoon.
Gigi´s last blog post ..Im SOOOOOO embarrassed
I love the ask Twitter part. Laughed out loud at that. So far I have let the kids move that discussion along. They ask what they want to know and I answer honestly, but to date I haven’t answered any questions they didn’t ask.
Molly´s last blog post ..Taking Mom to cocktail hour
Lolli @ Better in Bulk says
Oh my!! What a conversation to have on the way to school. 🙂 You’ve done a great job so far! I remember when my second daughter asked again about sex and I could tell she really wanted to know the truth. I prefaced it with, “This will probably sound kind of gross, but this is how it was meant to work and it’s a good thing….”
Lolli @ Better in Bulk´s last blog post ..Kindred Spirits
PJ Lincoln says
Yep, too much info can be a bad thing. My 10-year-old is the world’s biggest blabber-mouth. I know whatever I tell him is going to end up being recycled around the lunchroom and playground at school. By the time it ends up back at the house, the message that I tried to deliver is, well, not the same or even in the same ballpark.
In short, it’s sometimes better to redirect the conversation:
“Mom, where do babies come from?”
“Darling, did I ever tell you about what a beautifuly baby you were?”
“Oh, my gosh, darling you had the biggest XXXXXX eyes EVER!! And your nose? It was just the perfect size…”
Catch my drift?
While honesty is always the best policy, think of this part of parenting like writing a good novel or short story: Slow down the rate of reveal!
PJ Lincoln´s last blog post ..Kilpatrick down for the count three cheers for the Feds
“Just ask on Twitter, they’ll tell you” has to be the FUNNIEST thing ever. I almost spit my Dr Pepper on my screen. Hilarious. Wish I could help but instead thanks for giving me a giggle. I have a 13 year old daughter and couldn’t begin to tell you how I handled it. Not sure there is a ‘right’ way to it all. Good luck!
MommaDJane´s last blog post ..Crayola – Give Everything Imaginable
How’s about Twitter was so busy today all I saw was a whale! Thank goodness he’s not ashamed to ask you.
ConnieFoggles´s last blog post ..Infiniti by Conair You Style Curler and Straightener Giveaway
Oh that was so fun to read! I told my daughter that babies come from love and she bought that for a long time.
Teresa´s last blog post ..A Little Girl & a Fireman – Christmas Memory 1975
You know, I’ve been there and honestly? I still have no idea what to say. Sorry babe. At least he’s comfortable to open up to Mommy!
Lisa´s last blog post ..Kryptonite- Men vs Women
Candice @ Fashionably Organized says
When I was pregnant w/#3 I bought Where Do Babies Come From? anticipating these exact questions. I never got asked. Then 2 weeks ago there he was reading it. Yes my son is 6 years old and I feel your pain.
Candice @ Fashionably Organized´s last blog post ..Guest Post- Gifts In A Jar
Jessica R. says
That is TOO funny.
I’d go with “During the special hug the daddy plants a seed in the mommy that grows into a baby.” Short and sweet. Then change the subject to that birthday party!
Jessica R.´s last blog post ..Its not about the Happy Meals- its about the parenting
Tara R. says
I really don’t remember how we explained the mechanics of the ‘special hug.’ Could he be asking because the older kids already gave him their version?
Tara R.´s last blog post ..A white lightning Christmas
I always say that honesty is the best policy. Except in this case. I would just tell your son what my mother-in-law told my husband. That she found him under a head of cabbage in the garden.
Fadra´s last blog post ..All I Want For Christmas
Jackie @ freeismylife says
You know there are books for this at the bookstore with photos that explain the “special hug”. What did you tell your other kids?
Ask the Twitter. Best line ever. What a smart kid.
I think if he was getting this specific in his questions then I would have to come up with some kind of answer. I’m not sure what it would be, but I think it would have to have a vein of truth to it. Yikes. I’m not looking forward to this conversation at all.
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Time to clean
It takes two to make a baby boy. It should take two to answer some of the questions that arise. Ooo. I said ‘arise’.
lceel´s last blog post ..Haiku Friday – Gobekli Tepe
Okay, I just had this conversation with my 7 year old daughter about 2 weeks ago. I was doing a clean up of the computer and told her I was wiping the cookies and history clean. She got nervous and then when asked she promptly admitted she had typed in “n*k*d lady” in google and watched a video of a girl with a boy’s **** in her mouth! Talk about a freakout (on this inside of course). So anyway, this led to a conversation about doing IT. I told her that God made Mommy parts and Daddy parts to fit together in just the right way so that a baby can be made. It seemed to appease her. Then again she maybe just wanted to stop the entire conversation that ensued…..
I loved the part of go ask “twitter”!
I hope it went well or he forgot to ask!
NYCPatty´s last blog post ..The Best Gift I Ever Gave
Carole Hickman says
That is TOO funny. I’d go with “During the special hug the daddy plants a seed in the mommy that grows into a baby.” Short and sweet. Then change the subject to that birthday party!