It’s hard, when you are so fed up with things going on in your life that you aren’t allowed to blog about, to maintain a chipper, fun to read blog. It really is like a box of chocolates, life. I’m not liking any of the flavors though. Where is the milk chocolate with caramel. I’m getting tired of taking little bites of grossness and putting it back into it’s place.
I can’t do it right now.
My life? Well, there are a bunch of things going on that suck big. Like a whole big box of dark chocolates with cherry…and I hate those. Hate. THOSE.
The stress of going over-budget on the B’nai Mitzvah is causing me to wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. And there is no one to bail me out. The sad thing is, the party isn’t that expensive to begin with because the budget was small.
Living with a child whose behavior causes major dissension and chaos in our home isn’t helping keep up the spirits when I’m always worried about how that behavior is going to directly impact my four other kids. Not to mention the strain it puts on a marriage. Everyone else is so worried about that one kid, someone has to be the advocate, ears, and arms for my other four. Because they are all getting the short end. It’s killing me. And it’s not working wonders on the family dynamics, either.
I can’t concentrate long enough to get much done. Hell, I just gave up on putting the twist tie back on a loaf of bread and I had tried to open a can of tuna with a corkscrew (that doesn’t work, in case you wanted to try that at home).
My husbands idea of communication is turning his back and snoring.
My stress? It’s showing in my blog. I’m sorry.
I can’t be a humorous blogger right now. I can only be what I am living and honestly, I’m not having much fun right now.
Real life is way too much for me to handle and completely out of my control.
My point? Please, bare with me. I’ll somehow, one way or another, get through this major ripple in my life. I may not come out the way I went in but I will get out of this. Somehow.
In the meantime and as usual, I can only be me on this blog. Which, I will continue to write on because it’s something I love.
At the moment, the me I am is a little girl who wants to curl up into fetal position and suck her thumb.
But I can’t.
I have to maintain a Mommy-like facade. For my kids. While my insides are sobbing piteously.
But, everything works its way out in the end.
Patience and time.
One way or another.
I hope, someday, to dive into a big box of mouth watering milk chocolate filled with creamy caramel.
Or just a Twix bar will do.
i swear, we’re on the same cycle…
I’m grasping at life…but it is me. I’m a roller coaster girl…but this time, I can’t say it. I can’t show my true psychoness…cause, I can’t. It makes it so hard, something in the forefront of my brain, that I can’t say a damn thing about.
meh.
I guess, I’m sayin, I hear ya.
*roooaaarrr*
staciesmadness´s last blog post ..WHITE BELTwordless wednesday
Oh Melissa,
I am sending hugs and love (as much as I’ve got). Yes, I know what you really need is quality booze and pedis. And I promise,all this and more will happen soon, WITH the umbrellas and your muscle-bound dude serving us pool-side (I still want the gay bff). It seems we find ourselves in similar waters – the blending, the b’nai mitzvahs the bluster of it all. It is too much at times. And yet, here we are humor high or low – we remain standing. Yes my dear, this too shall pass.
And until is does and then when it does I am here…xxoo
This is exactly what your blog is for. We love you for your humor, yes. But we also love you for your honesty and balls to put this “out there.” It’s cathartic and healthy to write about this stuff, so do it as often as you need/want. This too shall pass but in the meantime, just sit in it. Open up those chocolates and find that damn caramel one! I too HATE dark chocolate with cherry too. I’m off to barf just thinking about it. Love & Light to you, friend!
Mama Mary´s last blog post ..how to make the perfect artichoke
Life is like a roller coaster – ups and downs. I’m seeing quite a few downs across the boards right now – maybe it’s the moon’s phase or something. All we can do is hunker down and wait for it to pass. Hugs.
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Aw. Love for you babe. And if you ever need a blog to vent on, I’ve got one.
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I’m sending you hugs, love and encouragement!
Another Suburban Mom´s last blog post ..A Break From My Hiatus
Hang in there! It’s gotta get better!!!! *HUGS*
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Melissa,
I read your blog each day…(I’m one of those folks that found you via the Channel 4 item) I’ve commented a few times and literally feel your pain each day. I’m not sweating the budget on a B’Nai Mitzvah or the trials of a blended family but I have my own issues. This is one of those times I wish I could just say…Hey, let’s meet at The Breakfast Club and have a coffee…you tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.
Sending prayers and encouragement your way…
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I completely get this.
Completely.
And your authenticity and keeping it real is why I’m here.
Hoping this too passes for you, and meanwhile, I’ll be reading.
Your blog should be real and in real life, shitty things happen. By writing things like this you unknowingly help others. You are NOT alone! For a while all I was getting were the nasty orange filled chocolates out of my box and I HATE those. Now I’m getting a few caramels every now and then. Keep picking out of that frickin box. There can only be so many dark cherry chocs! Eventually you’ll get something yummy and full of happiness. 🙂
All you can be is who you are. Those who care won’t mind, and those who mind don’t really care anyway.
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