It’s hard, when you are so fed up with things going on in your life that you aren’t allowed to blog about, to maintain a chipper, fun to read blog. It really is like a box of chocolates, life. I’m not liking any of the flavors though. Where is the milk chocolate with caramel. I’m getting tired of taking little bites of grossness and putting it back into it’s place.
I can’t do it right now.
My life? Well, there are a bunch of things going on that suck big. Like a whole big box of dark chocolates with cherry…and I hate those. Hate. THOSE.
The stress of going over-budget on the B’nai Mitzvah is causing me to wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. And there is no one to bail me out. The sad thing is, the party isn’t that expensive to begin with because the budget was small.
Living with a child whose behavior causes major dissension and chaos in our home isn’t helping keep up the spirits when I’m always worried about how that behavior is going to directly impact my four other kids. Not to mention the strain it puts on a marriage. Everyone else is so worried about that one kid, someone has to be the advocate, ears, and arms for my other four. Because they are all getting the short end. It’s killing me. And it’s not working wonders on the family dynamics, either.
I can’t concentrate long enough to get much done. Hell, I just gave up on putting the twist tie back on a loaf of bread and I had tried to open a can of tuna with a corkscrew (that doesn’t work, in case you wanted to try that at home).
My husbands idea of communication is turning his back and snoring.
My stress? It’s showing in my blog. I’m sorry.
I can’t be a humorous blogger right now. I can only be what I am living and honestly, I’m not having much fun right now.
Real life is way too much for me to handle and completely out of my control.
My point? Please, bare with me. I’ll somehow, one way or another, get through this major ripple in my life. I may not come out the way I went in but I will get out of this. Somehow.
In the meantime and as usual, I can only be me on this blog. Which, I will continue to write on because it’s something I love.
At the moment, the me I am is a little girl who wants to curl up into fetal position and suck her thumb.
But I can’t.
I have to maintain a Mommy-like facade. For my kids. While my insides are sobbing piteously.
But, everything works its way out in the end.
Patience and time.
One way or another.
I hope, someday, to dive into a big box of mouth watering milk chocolate filled with creamy caramel.
Or just a Twix bar will do.