It’s taken me years of head scratching and hmmm’ing over the complex perplexities of strange occurrences in my house.

I’ve FINALLY figured out the reasons why…

-there are always copious amounts of clothing, both clean and dirty, on the floors of various and random bedrooms.

-there are always towels, crumpled in a mildewy mess in the bathroom, one that is shared by children.

-there are always torn notebook papers and rough edges, hidden in corners and under tables.

-there are piles of various missing, used and long forgotten THINGS under beds.

-there are spoons, plastic containers, bags and other random objects, shoved under couch cushions.

-there are empty toilet paper rolls strewn about, inevitably ripped to shreds by the dogs.

-there are those empty toilet paper roll shreds that were ripped apart by the dogs, strewn about too.

-there is toothpaste dried in clumps on the bathroom counter as well as smeared and filmy goo all over the faucet and mirror.

-there are large clumps of hair, both straight and curly, long and short, gathered at the drain of the shower.

-there are toys, bikes and garbage tossed haphazardly across the front lawn.

-there are remote controls for video games laying around and being chewed on by the dogs.

-there are empty video game cases with the actual games lost or stuck somewhere under the couch.

-there is chocolate powder stuck to the bottom of every glass in the house, which are always left on the kitchen counter, surrounded by a ring of chocolate.

-there is always dried cereal, or worse…oatmeal…stuck to bowls and spoons rotting and sticking to the kitchen counter, along with that chocolate milk.

-there are crumbs pushed in a trail from the kitchen counter to the kitchen floor to, inevitably, stuck to the bottom of my bare feet.

-there is NOTHING neat in this entire house after 3pm on any given day.

I’ve thought about this good and hard. Because, there are 7 of us living in a decent sized home with wonderful storage.

The only conclusion that I came to, and for this I am very sorry…

There is no one in this house, both living or haunting(you know, the one named “Notme”) that have any fingers to lift.

Ah-ha.