It’s taken me years of head scratching and hmmm’ing over the complex perplexities of strange occurrences in my house.
I’ve FINALLY figured out the reasons why…
-there are always copious amounts of clothing, both clean and dirty, on the floors of various and random bedrooms.
-there are always towels, crumpled in a mildewy mess in the bathroom, one that is shared by children.
-there are always torn notebook papers and rough edges, hidden in corners and under tables.
-there are piles of various missing, used and long forgotten THINGS under beds.
-there are spoons, plastic containers, bags and other random objects, shoved under couch cushions.
-there are empty toilet paper rolls strewn about, inevitably ripped to shreds by the dogs.
-there are those empty toilet paper roll shreds that were ripped apart by the dogs, strewn about too.
-there is toothpaste dried in clumps on the bathroom counter as well as smeared and filmy goo all over the faucet and mirror.
-there are large clumps of hair, both straight and curly, long and short, gathered at the drain of the shower.
-there are toys, bikes and garbage tossed haphazardly across the front lawn.
-there are remote controls for video games laying around and being chewed on by the dogs.
-there are empty video game cases with the actual games lost or stuck somewhere under the couch.
-there is chocolate powder stuck to the bottom of every glass in the house, which are always left on the kitchen counter, surrounded by a ring of chocolate.
-there is always dried cereal, or worse…oatmeal…stuck to bowls and spoons rotting and sticking to the kitchen counter, along with that chocolate milk.
-there are crumbs pushed in a trail from the kitchen counter to the kitchen floor to, inevitably, stuck to the bottom of my bare feet.
-there is NOTHING neat in this entire house after 3pm on any given day.
I’ve thought about this good and hard. Because, there are 7 of us living in a decent sized home with wonderful storage.
The only conclusion that I came to, and for this I am very sorry…
There is no one in this house, both living or haunting(you know, the one named “Notme”) that have any fingers to lift.
Ah-ha.
Kids are assholes. My mom would PAY my sister and me to do the dishes and clean our own rooms and we still didn’t do it.
Our haunter is named “Ida Know.” I can’t even pay my kids to do chores. I’ve tried going on strike, but after a few days, caved and just started doing the work myself.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..End of the street