I received a phone call from a survey company. I thought the whole thing was kind of funny so, I’ll share it with you. Because…that’s the kind of girl I am. You’re welcome.

Him: (Typical greetings, salutations and introductions but we will call him Tim) I’m calling on behalf of (something or another) Pro-life group. I have four questions to ask you, if you don’t mind.

Me: (Laughing, because I was thinking about the four questions from Passover, which doesn’t occur until the Spring) Um…(Ma nishtana ha-laila ha-zeh mi-kol ha-lelot? why is this night different from all others)

Tim: (In a typical telemarketer annoying way that completely disregards vocal intonations trying to dismiss the call in a polite way) In a general type election, would you vote Democratic, Republican or Independent?

Me: (I decide to go along with this survey) Whoever is cute. (Yes, I seriously said that. I decided to fuck with him a little)

Tim: Do you vote?

Me: Sometimes, depending on how long the lines are.

Tim: Do you consider yourself Pro-Life?

Me: (exclaiming passionately because I am passionately pro-choice) Hell no! I’m pro, pro, pro, pro, PRO-CHOICE. All the way. Without any doubt or second thought. Because no one on this planet has any right to tell me what I can and can not do to my body. NO ONE.

Tim: (clearing his throat and sounding a little uncomfortable) I guess we are done here then.

Me: We were done before we started.

I hang up before him. Annoyed.

Pro-life.

NEVER.

No offense to anyone who is Pro-Life but that is were we STRONGLY disagree. Forever.

But now? I’m kind of wondering what the fourth question was. I’m guessing it wasn’t “She-be-chol ha-lelot anu ochlin bayn yoshvin u-vayn mseubin, ha-laila ha-zeh kelanu mesubin?”
Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position? (translation for all of my non-Jewish friends)