Open Letters To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern,

Hi.

Once upon a time, I was a divorced mom too. Let’s hear it for unburdening the baggage. Woot.

I was leg over ears for a couple of men back then. But, I would always put my love games on pause if my kids called.

Sometimes though, I was just flat out sleeping.

But, I always had a phone next to my ear, even if my legs were there too.

My kids were much younger at the time so, it was usually their father who called me but that’s neither here nor there.

Now?

I’m remarried but I still keep a phone by my, on me, near me. On vibrate AND on the loudest ring. You never can be too sure.

I hardly, if ever, miss a phone call or a text from my kids.

The point is…

Your child called you last night.

There was no answer.

He was safe though.

He slept here.

Just thought you should know.

Signed,

A Sanctimonious Mom

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To Whom It May Concern,

I wish I didn’t have to capitalize the greeting because there is no respect being put into this letter.

Cutting your teachers salaries sucked. I’m not going to speak for all the other teachers because maybe, perhaps, they are all wealthy trust fund babies…

But…

You have put our family into dire straights. Our entire life as we knew it has been altered. Alternate arrangements for things we took for granted are going to have to be made.

Teachers who give their all to try to make better human beings through education have been fist fucked. Yeah, I swore. I’m pissed.

Teachers who produce teachers, doctors, lawyers, SUPERINTENDENTS, ADMINISTRATORS, actors…EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that make this world go round…

are the least respected of all the professions.

Without them, there wouldn’t be YOU.

What a nice way of saying thanks.

Signed,

AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON

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