Dear Anonymous Person who put this letter in our mailbox:
Because you don’t approve of a little strip of grass on our side yard looking like this:
And our side yard looks like that (which is relatively neat considering I always have a ton of kids, including ones from the neighborhood, that play there)…
Because our backyard has a pool and there is nowhere to put that playhouse, teeter totter or ride on toys.
We didn’t put all those kids toys in our front yard because we thought it would look trailer trashy but, if it would please you more…we’ll totally do that for you. There it would be more spread out and our son and his friends could run around. Would that be more suitable for how you feel our neighborhood should look?
I have a couple of favorite parts about this…
1. There are houses in our neighborhood that are rundown, shingles off the roof, shutters in shambles, driveways crumbling, grass overgrown…
And our house…not bad, I tell ya. OK fine. I didn’t weed that much or plant flowers this summer. The weeping willow needs to be cut down but? With the lowest estimate being too high and our pay cut and everything…feel free to cut it down yourself.
2. Hello, passive-aggressive anonymous person. Mind your own business. Go cut your lawn with your cuticle scissors and paint your house standard white. Close your eyes when you drive by my house. Don’t look out whichever offending window faces our yard, we wouldn’t want your eyes to burn and your brain to explode.
When our son doesn’t use the toy house, cars and whatever else is over there, we will be sure to dispose of it accordingly. Or donate it to someone else to adorn outside of their home with. For their children. To play on.
As for our brown grass…it’s that here drought we’ve been a’havin’ lately. Look around that there subdivision.
Thank you for your concern.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go back to doing something really important like cleaning the INSIDE of my house and getting stuff ready for when my kids go back to school.
Signed,
The Neighborhood Trailer Trash Momma
P.S…you might want to use different paper next time, you kind of narrowed the anonymity down a bit.
Uh…WOW.
And one of OUR people, no less! 🙁
Melisa with one S (PH)´s last blog post ..So These Four Jews Go To Germany
You should see my back yard. Six years ago it was gorgeous and well-kept. We had a pool and huge deck that took up most of the space, but the landscaping was very nice. Now we have a barren wasteland of weeds and overgrown bushes. Our pool is gone and we haven’t been very motivated in regards to cultivating a lawn. We’ve been meaning to at least trim some of the nastier weeds, but it’s been so dang hot this summer.
We haven’t gotten any letters like yours, but one of my neighbors has apparently invited others over to view the freak show going on out back.
Heather´s last blog post ..The bobcat returns
LMFAO! That’s all I have to say about that. Geesh….some people have just a bit too much time on their hands. I should send you a pic of our neighbor’s yard…..that should put it into perspective for your “anonymous” little friend. LOL
What an Ahole.
Stefanie´s last blog post ..who would you rather
The toys are evidence of positive things: fun, play, family, friends. The note – oh my – what a turd. Our yard is full of fun, too. So far, no ugly notes. Hope we never get one.
LOL!! the nerve of them!! Too funny about the paper they used practically giving them away..and to do it in such a cowardly way anyways..sheesh!!
Abolish all evidence of children from your yard!
That’s so… American? Gross.
Stay strong, sister. This is someone else’s issue, not yours.
Your yard looks awesome to me!
Passive Aggressive much? That would piss me off to no end and it would be the start of the yard wars. I would post a big sign, “I love my lived in yard.” And then I would buy every lawn ornament I could afford to adorn it, and just wait until Christmas… but then you don’t celebrate Christmas. Do they make Hanukkah yard ornaments?
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Getting used to the pain
Ew, they did NOT.
Oh wow. They do NOT want to come to my house. I have toys *gasp* in. my. yard. and peeling paint on my porch from where I can’t afford to get it rebuilt (it was that way when we bought the house) yet. Great response, though I might consider making a little sign to put in the yard in response…you know to class up the place real nice 🙂
I <3 you.
wow. some people are just assholes.
staciesmadness´s last blog post ..Its been how long
Crap like this just makes me want to borrow a total beater and put it up on blocks in the front yard.
Some people need to get a hobby. Besides being nosey neighbor poopie heads.
Ash´s last blog post ..Now- where did I put that patience hat
Are you kidding? People have no lives!
theresa @rockonmommies´s last blog post ..It Used To Take a Village…
OMG! Are you freakin’ kidding me? That neighbor needs to move into my house and meet the crackhead living next door to me. He/she will come running back to you with open arms!!!
LB´s last blog post ..A Two Fer – Anniversaries and Bad Neighbors
Incredible! So much easier to be a douche when you’re anonymous.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..Stupid kid rules- pasta faux pas
Oh my hell. What is wrong with people?
Gigi´s last blog post ..Apparently- Im turning into my mother
The amazing thing is that this “anonymous” person thought her opinion mattered…and should be shared.
IMO, toys are not trash. You live there with kids. Kids play with things. I see absolutely nothing wrong with your side yard.
A few years ago we needed to get new homeowners insurance. One company turned us down because they said there was trash all over our yard. The “trash” was a store the kids had made by bringing some toys out of their playhouse. So I guess only homeowners without toys were insurable by this company. I wonder if this neighbor works for this insurance company?
Michele – The Professional Family Manager´s last blog post ..Why I’m Going to Need a Drink When We Buy Our Next Vehicle
Ash stole my idea. But in addition to the rusty beater up on blocks, throw a couple of appliances on the porch. I wonder if this quasi-person left notes at everyone else’s houses?
my lawn is brown for the same reason your is. i have toys for the same reason you do. and i worry about getting a note like this because of snotty people like the one you have the unfortune to live near.
fuck em.
xo
maggie may´s last blog post ..Proof
ps
i made up the word unfortune.
maybe i’ll get a hate note about that.
maggie may´s last blog post ..Proof
Uh, is it just me or is there absolutely nothing wrong with your yard? It looks like organized chaos to me… and my girlie would be over in a flash to play!!! What asshats!
Karen MEG´s last blog post ..17 is a very good year- an anniversary post
I wonder what one of those discarded toilet turned flower pots would do for your persnickety neighbor?
MomZombie´s last blog post ..Peg Bundy would be proud
Ooooh! I love this! An anonymous handwritten accusatory letter is the stuff Lifetime movies are made of! Bait this person. Trash-i-size your front yard. Push the buttons. You know, in your spare time. When you’re done cleaning the inside and getting ready for school. When you have a chance to address cowardly neighborly shenanigans. Jeez, Louise.
Love the nosey neighbors. I have one next door who actually tells my aunt (who does not live here) all about me. Isn’t that fantastic and then they wonder why I don’t respect either one of them. I don’t believe in watering my grass because I unlike most people do not want it to grow. I should be living in a condo or apartment because I dislike outdoor work that much. I hope you linked this post to your neighbor.
Jamie Favreau´s last blog post ..What Role Does Technology Play for You
A bunch of toys in the frontyard is an eyesore. Kids toys does not make for good landscaping.
Stick them in your backyard and get a fence.
Try looking at it from the perspective of people who have to live across the street from you, or drive by all the time and see all the stuff out there!
This reminds me of my brother who, with his 1 year old flew back home and was smiling when he told us about how the baby was wining and crying on the plane and he thought it was cute. and I was like, “Cute!? You probably annoyed the heck out of everyone on the plane!”
Being a parent, you lose perspective.