Dear Anonymous Person who put this letter in our mailbox:
Because you don’t approve of a little strip of grass on our side yard looking like this:
And our side yard looks like that (which is relatively neat considering I always have a ton of kids, including ones from the neighborhood, that play there)…
Because our backyard has a pool and there is nowhere to put that playhouse, teeter totter or ride on toys.
We didn’t put all those kids toys in our front yard because we thought it would look trailer trashy but, if it would please you more…we’ll totally do that for you. There it would be more spread out and our son and his friends could run around. Would that be more suitable for how you feel our neighborhood should look?
I have a couple of favorite parts about this…
1. There are houses in our neighborhood that are rundown, shingles off the roof, shutters in shambles, driveways crumbling, grass overgrown…
And our house…not bad, I tell ya. OK fine. I didn’t weed that much or plant flowers this summer. The weeping willow needs to be cut down but? With the lowest estimate being too high and our pay cut and everything…feel free to cut it down yourself.
2. Hello, passive-aggressive anonymous person. Mind your own business. Go cut your lawn with your cuticle scissors and paint your house standard white. Close your eyes when you drive by my house. Don’t look out whichever offending window faces our yard, we wouldn’t want your eyes to burn and your brain to explode.
When our son doesn’t use the toy house, cars and whatever else is over there, we will be sure to dispose of it accordingly. Or donate it to someone else to adorn outside of their home with. For their children. To play on.
As for our brown grass…it’s that here drought we’ve been a’havin’ lately. Look around that there subdivision.
Thank you for your concern.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go back to doing something really important like cleaning the INSIDE of my house and getting stuff ready for when my kids go back to school.
The Neighborhood Trailer Trash Momma
P.S…you might want to use different paper next time, you kind of narrowed the anonymity down a bit.