New York smells, wretchedly. I mean, there is no fresh, cool air swirling around and making its way into anyone’s respiratory system. You inhale stink and exhale stink. And it just hangs there. Stinking.
After a night of eating, drinking and sweating, a hotel room with two double beds and four women has the wretched stinks, perhaps way worse than outside.
No…it smelled like hobo vagina.
I’m not sure which one of my roommates announced that our room did not smell very, ah…lady-like, after exiting the bathroom. I’m not sure which one compared the odor to a hobo or who then went and took it a very inappropriate step further to say a vagina. But, somehow, that became our hashtag. Our mantra. The one thing that could make us laugh until we were gasping for hot, stinky, airless air and begging for mercy.
And don’t even get me started on the BumpIt swag.
I know, we are so immature.
I can totally sense that you are looking at the screen and wondering how you got here and what drugs am I on but you should know that, even as I typed those two words…hobo vagina…I am cracking up with tears steaming down my face. And yes, it really IS very funny.
So, many of you who enlighten and better yourselves by following me on Twitter knew of my Just Baked cupcake debacle over Blogher weekend. But, those who don’t…here is a rehash. All 80 cupcakes arrived smashed, smushed and various forms of crushed. (But holy hell, were they every shade of delicious) Because they were part of our swag bag, we were devastated. So I tweeted, of course. Hilton saw my tweets and sent me a bazillion brownies and cream puffs. Which…was so awesome of them and I can’t tell you how I and my fellow hostesses appreciated that gesture. I’ve heard from various sources that the Hilton bakery sweets were a delectable treat!
It dawned on me when I was on the way home. I had to pay Hilton $12 for the delivery of the crushed cupcakes, plus another bunch of money for the other swag that were sitting in boxes, waiting to be unpacked, bagged and handed out to the BarHer attendees.
Hilton charged to have boxes shipped TO us.
WHAT IS THAT ABOUT HILTON?
Even the thought of hobo vagina and BumpIt tiaras didn’t make me laugh at the ridiculosity of this.
That is gauging and taking advantage of us because, really, what were we supposed to do? Leave our swag to sit in the mail storage of the Hilton Hotel. So, along with many other bloggers, I begrudgingly allowed the Hilton to add the cost of having those boxes that were delivered to me by way of the mailroom that already had their shipping paid for, to my room tab.
Then, I obsessed about it.
To make matters even worse and more expensive? Let’s talk Delta Airlines for a moment, shall we?
I paid $23 to Delta so that I could bring luggage with me and have it checked in. One way, to New York.
I watched many people carry on luggage that was almost as big as the one I had checked in (for $23) and try to store theirs in the overhead compartments of the aircraft.
I listened as the stewardesses complain that people were taking advantage of Delta’s baggage rules and regulations and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I watched as passengers and stewardesses, together, tried to shut the overhead compartments while cursing under their breath, but couldn’t unless they moved countless numbers of oversized bags around, annoying the passengers who the overstuffed bags belonged to. Ones that REALLY? Should have been paid for and sent underneath to the baggage area.
Coming home. I had to check my bag again, for ANOTHER $23. When I got to the airport, I found out my bag was 55 pounds. 5 pounds over the allowed weight.
I was charged $90 additional.
That is $113 to send my bag home. Where it belongs.
And the stewardesses were still bitching, griping and moaning over the same baggage angst as they were on my flight to New York. People were bringing bigger and heavier bags ONTO the plane to store in overhead compartments and in those storage closets. And not being charged.
Yet, I paid the $23. Had my bags checked. And got penalized.
My cousin came for a visit. She brought her daughter and her 2 pound Chihuahua, Diego…whom she dished out $125 to bring ON the plane with her. His carry on case was smaller than her purse. And she is going to have to pay the same amount to bring him home.
Bullshit? Oh yeah, it is.
I didn’t research what other airlines are doing, as far as luggage and carry-ons are concerned because this is mostly just a gripe session. But, as the price to bring luggage on a plane rises and the ticket prices aren’t falling, carry on luggage is going to become a ginormous problem. Which, I’m sure will be solved by slapping on a hefty price to bring a carry-on, onto the plane.
Soon, it’s going to be too expensive to fly with luggage at all.
Which brings me to this grand idea…
Clothing rental with chains worldwide.
Leave the flying to Delta. Leave your clothing to us. (Or something like that)
Genius? Hell yeah I am.
That is a marvelous idea. Rent-a-thread. But you’ll have to bring your own underwear.
lceel´s last blog post ..If its Tuesday- it must be
I dealt with the exact same thing!!! $23 on the way to NYC and $113 on the way back. My bag was 55 pounds on the way back!!! ARGH!
Theresa´s last blog post ..The Real ‘Stink’ On Potty Seats
Holy shit that’s fucking ridiculous. I wonder if there is a luggage service other than shipping it with FedEx or other mailing companies. You might be onto something here Melissa.
The hobo vagina statement still cracks me up. You are right, NYC was airless and as humid as it gets.
Bummer about all the plane costs! Guess we will have to figure out something before we have to trek our asses to California!
ascapecodturns´s last blog post ..When Opportunity Knocks- Answer the Door!
I think that is a fantastic idea! I haven’t heard about the cupcakes and brownies, but I am hungry now and all I have is a 1/2 toasted bagel, some PB and some stale chips-ahoy cookies. Damn you! 😉
Andrea´s last blog post ..Finding Marco Book Review
Kate, aka guavalicious says
Still annoyed by the $4 fee to pick up my box. Seriously Hilton?!
Kate, aka guavalicious´s last blog post ..Break Their Hearts and I Will Kill You
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins says
Long live the hobo vagina. Or, er, um…whatever.
I tweeted about AirTran (of course I didn’t get any response – I may write a post). There were THREE people working the check-in counter. All they did was direct you toward the next available self check-in kiosk. (Could have done it from my laptop but I wouldn’t have had anywhere to print my boarding pass.) From there, I had to FLAG DOWN someone behind the counter to grab the bag tags I had assumed had printed out behind the counter. (They did.) All that guy did was grab the sticker and put it around the handle of my bag and tell me to take it over to the TSA guy. Really? $15 fucking dollars for THAT?!? How bout you PAY ME for checking myself in and dealing with my own fucking bag by NOT CHARGING ME TO DO SO. Seriously, that $15 is way cheaper than a person’s salary.
But still…hobo vagina (snicker)
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins´s last blog post ..The post where I laugh at my kids and make you think Im a big fat jerk
Patty@NYC Girl at Heart says
LMAO! Okay so from now on everything there is a weird smell in the NYC air I am going to think hobo vagina! Great I’ll be laughing for no reason and I am going to have to explain your story, so the phrase will go on! LOL
I can’t believe all the fees that’s nuts! Last year we paid $30 each to check our bags on Virgin airline each way – a total of $120…UGH!
Patty@NYC Girl at Heart´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday – Frozen Hot Chocolate!
Another Suburban Mom says
NYC does smell a little in the summer when there is no breeze.
I was really annoyed though when Jet Blue wanted to charge me $85 each way for an unaccompanied minor fee.
It cost more for the fee than the ticket.
Another Suburban Mom´s last blog post ..The Randomness Is Back
I love hobo vagina! Bwahahahaha! And yes, the Hilton is a bit over zealous about making extra bucks. They charged me $15 to print out my eventbrite tickets in their business center. I guess white paper is hard to come by these days.
Kami´s last blog post ..BlogHer & Blackout