Crabby.
Muscle aches.
Unexplained weight gain.
Shorter periods.
Worsening of PMS.
Anxiety.
Heart palpitations/flutters.
Anger.
Stress and extreme fatigue.
My list of symptoms, which I consulted Dr. Google and Dr. WebMD about. They discussed it amongst themselves and came back at me with a diagnosis.
Peri-menopause.
PERI. FREAKING. MENOPAUSE.
Every single symptom I have was listed in every single symptom list I read. Which means, my change…it’s a comin’.
Assuming the two good doctors are right.
It got me all nostalgic-like.
I remember the day I got my period. 6th grade. November.
I remember the horrible cramps and breast tenderness and living on Tylenol for a couple of days, every month.
I remember those awkward maxi pads that I was worried about bleeding through or around.
I remember when my friend first taught me to use a tampon, during summer camp…Cape Hatteras, NC.
I remember counting the days from my last period, hoping I wasn’t pregnant.
I remember counting the days from the first day of my period, in hopes of getting pregnant.
I remember being done having babies and not wanting this monthly visitor anymore.
But now?
Here I am, 41 years old and the end is slowly becoming a reality.
I know that it’s still years away.
Realistically, I have no use for eggs and the mess that comes along with it. I’m done reproducing, for sure.
But, I’m not ready for this. Not really.
I’m not ready for dry skin and dry nether region.
I’m not ready for all the health problems like osteoporosis and heart disease that are well known side effects.
I’m not ready to grow old.
But…
Peri-Menopause and all the shit that happens during and after it…
It’s better than the other diagnosis that Dr. Google and Dr. WebMD have come up with…
Cancer.
So bring on the change, I guess. I’ll just stock up on AstroGlide and Estrogen.
It’s better than the alternative.
Geesh…mine hit it 6th grade too. And since I’ll be 41 in December…I’m sure I’ll be “behind you every step of the way” – PUN intended.
P.S. Save some astroglide and estrogen for me, will ya?
Add “waking up at 5 AM every morning for no apparent reason” … apparently also a sign. Sigh.
Well, I’ve got 3 years on you, if that’s any small consolation. You’re not alone. xoxo
Karen MEG´s last blog post ..Its all about the kids – Fragment style
Why is there no, “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret,” for this crap?
Stefanie´s last blog post ..mondays mother
Oh, welcome to my world… I’m actually (I hope) on the tail end of all this. I had six periods last year, only 2 so far this year. And every time I get one, I think, “Dammit, another year.” Because menopause isn’t official until 12 months after your last period. I’ve had the hot flashes, mood swings, memory loss, sleep disruption and now I have these charming heart palpitations that scare me to freaking death. I don’t always feel comfortable in my own skin, but I’m working on that.
I’ve read quite a few books about mid-life from a spiritual point of view. Christiane Northrup says that we work through in menopause all of the body and sexual issues we didn’t deal with during our earlier years. So I figure I’m getting off pretty easy, all things considered.
The good news: This is your get out of jail free card. Anybody complains about your attitude, just say the word ‘menopause.’ They’ll back off nice and slow…
Joni Golden´s last blog post ..Chidren with Hair Loss benefits from Farmington Hills families fundraiser
I’m actually looking forward to the hot flashes… it may be the only time in my adult life when I am warm.
Tara R.´s last blog post ..A mother’s love
No more uterus + one ovary = me not knowing when it will actually start. I know it will eventually, but I’m not sure how I’ll know the difference between my normal bitchiness and no more estrogen bitchiness.
Jennifer´s last blog post ..6 Ways to Raise a Daughter with Moxie
I’m seven months into the final stretch. It’s been a weird ride. I’ve had all the symptoms you’ve mentioned and more. Some days I’d like to live in a freezer. When I started this process I got sentimental, too. Now when I realize there will be no more babies, I’m like whoo hoo! Every part of life brings some strange, but some wonderful things, too. Enjoy yourself whatever phase of life you’re in, because you’re right, it’s better than the alternative.
SurprisedMom´s last blog post ..Tuesday Thoughts
Oh my GOD. Really? I’m about to turn 41 and am starting to get some of these symptoms. I thought I had YEARS! Hell. This stinks.
Maureen´s last blog post ..The Joy of Multiples