Growing up, my parents locked the bathroom doors. I never really understood that because who in the hell would want to walk in on my dad while he was
We weren’t allowed to touch our parents products…lotion, shampoo, toothpaste and the almighty hair gel and make up. Those things were taboo. Justice was swift, the offender would suffer
the wrath the high pitched screaming of my mother.
It was over the top, I thought. I mean, who cares? So, I used lotion…my legs were scaly and itchy. Oh no…I used my mother’s mascara…shoot me.
I thought my parents were so selfish. And mean. And petty.
Not about locking the bathroom doors. Let me reiterate…WHY would I even WANT to go in THERE?
I’m a mom. Obviously.
NOTHING IS SACRED!
My kids walk into the bathroom (and the door is WIDE OPEN)…while my husband is…er…reading. I mean seriously…WHY?
I go to use my gel…and it’s GONE.
MY conditioner for color treated hair, the one that smells so nice. It went missing suddenly, one day. After I had already washed with shampoo and my hair was feeling particularly thirsty for that scrumptious moisture. It was nowhere…NOWHERE to be found. Well…not in MY bathroom anyway.
It was sitting innocently in the kids shower. Must’ve gotten drunk one night and went home with the wrong shampoo…
Don’t even get me started on my lotions. And my HUGE, favorite paddle brush that is older than my kids ages combined that never seems to be where I left it. And my mascara. And my favorite yellow eyeshadow that is gone…
Dear Mom. And Dad…although…well, let’s not go there (OK, fine. I borrowed your razors sometimes),
Now I get it.
Your favorite daughter who only snuck and used your things when you weren’t home or you were out of town.