I worked ALL day. Pretty non-stop. Not pretty…EXTREMELY…
Not the wake up, hit the snooze, rush to get showered, dressed and out the door, punch in, sit at a desk type work. I’m lucky. I’m not governed by my own alarm clock. In fact, I don’t really know how to work it…but it doesn’t matter.
I am awakened at 6:30 because a kid was screaming for me, I go back to bed only to wake back up for the same kid screaming for me an hour later, brush teeth because I don’t want to kill anyone, get said kid and go downstairs, make a pot of coffee, feed all 5 kids(if they are home at the same time), eventually be ALLOWED to get dressed with a tiny bit of make up and then schlep the brats around.
Today…I was a beck and call bitch. I was all “yessir, may I help you sir”, bend at the waist, don’t make eye contact. I was the go-to girl for every small, medium and big problem. And my day still hasn’t ended. My daughter is still awake and whining, my son is locked in his room playing video games and my dogs are running wild like they have taken some uppers. My husband is peacefully sitting in his man-cave in the dungeon…with my ex-husband (I know, weird.) and I have to stay upstairs to make sure no one wakes up my youngest son…who i KNOW will wake up in the middle of the night because his tooth is about to fall out. Yes, the other top one.
What about me? I have a laptop. But I can’t be where I want to be, doing what I have to do…
I have deadlines. Things due this week. And I’ll probably have to finish them when everyone is asleep. Because tomorrow, I start my real “work” all over again.
My husband doesn’t seem to think that what I do is as important as what he does. And maybe to him and to our bills…it isn’t. But to me, yeah, it’s just as important. Not something to be poo-poo’ed and super eye-rolled.
Today, my husband worked.
He left the house. Without the kids following him. Without having to constantly take the dogs out to do their business.
He left the house…WITHOUT. Because…he is the husband.
He is in the process of trying to get Summer School going. He made tons of phone calls today, in hopes of recruiting failing students of concerned parents. Parents that have a little extra money to pay the tuition that going to Summer School requires.
He called these parents all day. He was met with a combination of parents that don’t give a rat’s ass and those who care deeply but are financially struggling. It’s frustrating to everyone involved. He wants the summer school to work because he desperately wants these kids to have a chance to succeed.
Then, he came home and taught a swim lesson. For an hour.
He gets paid. WAY more than I do. FOR SURE.
But does that make it more important or just more lucrative?
Does that mean a SAHM’s job, because there is little to no money involved, should be discounted, ignored, turn-up-nose uponed?
I. Don’t. Think. So.
I fight my ass off to get some sort of respect and validation from my husband regarding my “little hobby”. The hobby that sent me a spot on the local news, the Free Press and Dr. Phil. A little hobby that is bringing some very interesting and wonderful opportunities my way that would never have happened otherwise.
I work my ass off to make this the best blog I can. And yes, as many of you know, it’s hard work!
He gets praise, respect, high fives, fist bumps, back pats…because he has a noble and honorable career.
And he earns a noble and honorable income.
I don’t.
He has a job.
I don’t.
He deserves to come home, sit on the couch with his hand in his pants, flipping channels.
I don’t.
Because…when I earn as much as he does, THEN I can call it a job.
But I say, when he likes his job as much as I LOVE my “little hobby”…then maybe he’ll appreciate what I do, (besides raising the kids)…just a little more.
Then maybe he won’t be such a dick about it because he’ll get “it”.
I just told my husband tonight he is not longer ALLOWED to say – when you make as much money as I do . . . I swear – I may crack him upside his head if I hear those words again!
Yeah, same stuff happens here. Overworked, under (not) paid, underappreciated. It’s balls. I’m exhausted. Sometimes I think my husband assumes I play all day long. I’m too tired to argue 😉
Dani G´s last blog post ..A slight discomfort (with the update)
It’s not about the money, but that’s how men typically measure success. I think of all the cultural ideas we stick into little boys’ heads, that has got to be the most damaging.
You both contribute to the life you have, and you wouldn’t have that life unless each of you was doing what you’re doing. He needs a smack upside the head…
Joni Golden´s last blog post ..Sky Foundation adds new board, advisory members
I guess that means I’m lucky that I make more money than my husband so that he can’t say that. Of course if he did then he would have to live with the holy terror that I can be when I’m pissed off.
We share pretty equally in the home duties (because I make him), but it still isn’t even. Typical day for us, he get up gets dressed, drinks his coffee, watches the news and leaves for work. I get up, get dressed, feed myself and the kids, get them dressed and take them to school (you know how much harder that is than it sounds). He comes home, starts dinner, picks up the kids and watches TV until he goes to bed. Sometimes he mows the yard or piddles outside. I come home, finish dinner, load the dishwasher, do a couple of loads of laundry, answer to the beck and call of kids all night, and go to bed. Usually after him. We share bath and bed time. It isn’t always perfect or “fair” but I guess it works for us.
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Who knew…
OH MY HELL NO he didn’t!!! Men can be such insensitive asses!!! Yes, men measure things via money, yes, men have a completely different logic than women, yes, men generally accept that they leave the child rearing to the woman, and the house work, and the all of it, BUT, WHY IN THE HELL do we women allow it? I’ve done it for 18 years, allowed this selfish, insensitive behavior, which of course means that I am the one changing, not him, so it’s MY problem to deal with. I work outside the home, for dollars, always have. I have always had to drive 30-40 miles each way to work, which means getting up at the crack of dawn, dealing with kids, working all day, picking up kids, running them whereever they need to go, laundry, bathing, the list goes on and on, but I’m supposed to be fucking grateful cuz he (used to, we now have a teen boy) mow grass and pay the light bill??? AWWW MAN…got off on a tangent, but I feel what you are saying and I think your hubby needs some awakening!!!
Amen, girl! I am only home with mine for the summer, but I cannot wait to get back to the grind in August. Teaching teenagers for 90 minutes at a time is much easier than dealing with two preschoolers 24 hours a day!
LB´s last blog post ..Sparing Spouses
well said, as always.
staciesmadness´s last blog post ..shhhh be vewwy vewwy quiet.
Oh boy do I get this post. Men have NO clue just how much we do all day long that’s for sure. Only now you have so gracefully put it into words. Hee hee hubby was standing over my should while I typed this. Wonder if he understood what was happening here?
Anyway, thanks for making us chuckle as a crappy situation.