We lose power in my neighborhood every time the wind looks at us funny.
Let me rephrase this…
We lose power in my neighborhood, on MY side of the street…
Every stinking time the wind, rain, sleet, hail or sun decides to smile and wave hi.
It gets annoying. Super annoying.
Last night, we had a little storm here. The tornado sirens wailed out their ominous cry around 8:30. The skies were clear. The air was hot and humid. The birds were chirping. It was such a non-stormy type of night.
Until around 10 or so.
Suddenly, the winds started howling or whatever it is they do when they are blowing lawn furniture across our patio into our pool. The rain slammed against the roof and pounded on the windows. Our kids were freaking out because that’s what kids do when it storms…even a little bit.
As quickly as it began, this little bitty storm, it disappeared. Much like most summer rainstorms do. A wham bam thank you maam.
It snuck off with our internet, phone and cable connection. Fucker.
But for the first time since we lived in this house…6 years. We didn’t lose our power. We had air. We had electricity. We could open our fridge and flush our toilets. We had DVR episodes of UFC…which I had a little tantrum about watching. I hate that stuff.
We were celebrating. Well, kinda. As much celebrating as you can do when it’s really late and you’re really tired. And no, I don’t mean schtupping.
This morning, I opened my garage using the electric opener…because WE HAD POWER!! I drove off to my nail salon, where I am now the mayor on FourSquare! Finally, I’m the mayor of something AND something as worthy of my mayorship as my nail salon. Rock on.
Anywho…I digress, as per usual…
I come to find out that…get this…
The neighbors across the street from me. The ones that NEVER lose their power…well, very rarely…
The ones that stand on their front porches, point at us and laugh…every single time we lose our power…well, probably never…but I KNOW they think about doing that!!
They lost their power. They did. Finally.
And tonight, when I took my dog out to poop…which, he didn’t, he waited until he came back into the house and took a big huge shit on my floor…
With my porch lights ON…because I have power in my house. And my washing machine running. And my dishwasher going. And brownies cooking in the oven, making our house smell oh so mouthwatering, if you like the smell of shit mixed with chocolate (look, I am swearing a lot…I wonder if that person who wrote hate mail about my blog to Karen Drew will be offended…HI!)
I stood on my driveway. I looked across to the dark side…of the street.
And I smiled. I probably looked like the Cheshire Cat. In the animated Alice In Wonderland…NOT the Tim Burton one. I haven’t seen it but I’m thinking it’s probably a creepy version and I don’t want to paint a creepy picture. Just…a smug, huge grinning one…
I might have even gloated.
Ahhh, good old power. Nice to have it.
Now, if only I could get my dog to crap outside instead of my hardwood floors…
ps…no offense to any of my readers who live in my sub. I just say…HAHAHA…better you than me for once!
That’s just too damn funny. I wish we had half our neighborhood go out at a time. When our is out, it’s out all across this side of town. Of course this side of town is mostly populated by sheep and horses but still. Anyway. I’m glad you finally got to see the light so to speak. And by the way, fuck the complainers. You don’t curse for the hell of it. You’re making a fucking point. Ugh!
Its very rare we lose power here in our condo/hood but I think it pisses my neighbors off when I get the lanterns out at night! :-} (I use them for camping and fishing at night)
It must be contagious. We didn’t even lose power when the last hurricane swept through here, but the last couple of muggy, hot, thunderstormy days, the power has been flickering off and on… totally annoying.
That same thing happens to us. We are always the ones that lose power and if we weren’t then I would want to gloat too.
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Happy Birthday