Look Out Summer, Here I Come

I’ve shared SO much here, on my blog. From my sex life to my fat ass to my son’s belly button fetish (which thankfully has passed).

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned though…

My love for plopping down on a raft in the middle of a lake or pool and falling asleep while floating around. Love it. It’s probably up there in my top ten things to do, right behind sex, sushi and wine. I know, how risque, right?!

When we moved into our house, it right at the beginning of the summer. We swam and water logged ourselves through those first 10 weeks and beyond, until after school started and the first snow fell. Yes, we kept the pool warm so that the kids could swim, even when it was fricking freezing out. I have my limit though, if it’s under 60 degrees, you won’t catch me floating anywhere.

The last couple of years, I refused to put on a bathing suit. Even in the privacy of my own backyard pool. I have been mortified and insecure about how much I resemble a beached whale.

The last couple of years I have watched my children, husband and guests enjoy the clear, sparkling waters of our pool, which my husband has kept at warm-ish temperatures on behalf of me, in case I may actually decide to jump in. I can’t stand being cold in the water, I’m odd that way…which, I have used as a bigtime excuse for not going near the water. Yes honey, you’re keeping it warm but NOT warm enough.

My family knows the real reason…that I’m not feeling like myself, trapped in a fat suit…which is how I look at it. I feel like I’m trapped in that fat suit, much like Gwenyth Paltrow wore in “Shallow Hal”. Double chins, kankles and all.

But. It’s been really warm out. The water looks so refreshing and fun. And I’ve been sweating like a greased pig.

So I broke down.

I bought the biggest black bathing suit I could find. With a plunging neckline that shows bewbage. And, I bought a XXL pair of men’s black swim trunks.

I came home.

I put them on…and they fit. And I felt totally fine and covered enough to not be too embarrassed.

I went into my backyard with my son and my friends daughter. They were catching bugs and jumping in the pool. Oh, to be young.

I plopped down on a half deflated raft. It was the best one of the four we have. They break SO darn easily, especially when we always buy our floats from the dollar store.

I made myself comfy, with a leg perched on the side so that I rocked with the currents but stayed facing the sun.

And I fell fast asleep.

You know what? I couldn’t have been happier. I couldn’t have really cared less if I looked like a whale or a porpoise or…just a mommy sleeping in her pool while trying to rid herself of the pastiness that her skin is from not seeing the sun in ages. Yes, I wore SPF 30…don’t want to risk skin cancer.

For the first time in two years, I enjoyed my pool. The water temperature was perfect, especially with it being in the high 80’s outside. I have a cute, albeit strange, bathing get up. And I have no more excuses.

Look out summer, I’m done hiding from you. Here I come!!

If you can’t hide from the heat of summer, put on a bathing suit and join it!

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