In the beginning, Mommy created children and a household…

In the beginning, Mommy created children and household.

Now, the children were formless and empty of mind, vacuousness went deep and the sleep deprived Mommy hovered over the house and the children, cleaning up messes and wishing the children to be gone for some of the day all the while, trying to teach alphabets, numbers and colors.

Mommy said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. In the form of school and school days and learning and having QUIET and no non-stop talking and asking questions and playing the quiet game for a few hours.

Mommy saw that school was the awesome and her children weren’t going to remain empty and vacuous, and she easily separated the children from the household, aside for a few kinks that eventually got ironed out. Separation can be a bitch…for the kids.

Mommy called the school day “light” and “relaxing” and even “good times” and when the children arrived home to the household, it was called “night” and “the witching hour” and “temper tantrum time” when homework was done and complaining about the meals that were prepared for their nutrition. And there was evening, and there was morning and both were dark—the school weeks.

And then, Mommy said, “Let there be an break between the school days to separate school from kids.” So school districts made these breaks that separated the children from the school days. And they called these breaks…school holidays or vacations. And it was so.

Mommy called the first breaks “punishment” and “burdens” but she got used to sleeping in and not rushing around like a crazy woman for a few days. And there was evening, and there was morning with kids running amok demanding to be entertained—the winter break.

And then, another break was called for, after 6 or 8 more weeks of children begrudgingly going to school and Mommies everywhere getting burnt out from rising at the crack of dawn and making lunches and SCHLEPPING. They said, “Let the Mommies rest under the roof of her home and her children be gathered in one place, and let this break begin. And it was so.

They called this break “mid-winter” and then the children and the Mommies gathered…playdates and lazy days. And it was good. Especially when wine was involved.

Then it was time. This short break ended and Mommy said, “Let the children produce good grades: no missing homework assignments, no flunked tests, no detentions and no phone calls home due to clothing that is not school appropriate. And it was so…well, some of it, anyways.

Some of the children produced good grades, had no missing homework and no flunked tests. While others, not so much. Some of the children wore clothes that didn’t show their entire buttcrack and cleavage and some children wore clothes that matched, while others…not so much. And some children knew when to keep their mouths shut while others…yeah, not so much.

It couldn’t get much worse and it really wasn’t all that bad. So Mommy thought it was all OK…at best.

And there was evening, and there was morning—another entire semester passed. Exhausted. Getting close to burnt out, both children and adults alike.

And the school district said, “Let there be one last school break in the school year so that the Mommy may convalesce and the children may catch up on all the new video games and perhaps some of their missing assignments. And MAYBE actually read a book or two. And it was so. It was called “Spring Break”.

Three great and decent sized vacations and some mini throughout the year were made. The greater the vacation to spend lazy days around the house, the shorter and lesser school year became to govern the non-break days.

After the third and final long break, the school district decided that kids needed to be in school for a few more weeks to fill their brain with knowledge the needs to be learned. And, it was so.

Then, when everything that needed to be learned that year was learned by the students or completely skipped over by the teacher. And the homework assignments had been made up for partial credit or thrown out and lied about by the students.
And the teachers had been pink slipped, salaries cut and basically worked to death. And the grades were being computed to be sent home so that parents could decide the summer school or summer camp options and the all around fate of the children…

The longest vacation of the school year was initiated. Summer break.

The Mommies everywhere drew in their collective breath and braced themselves. Because, while Summer Vacation has so much good and bright and beautiful. There is also the dark, lurking. The bored. The whiney. The demanding. And it is those things that the Mommy dreads and becomes a vacational (a new word. You are welcome) wino.

But, the vacation has started for some. One child in this house, while the other four are trapped behind desks for the next two weeks, “learning” until their summer break starts.

And the Mommy smiles. Because she is no longer rushing around in the mornings, to and fro. And in two weeks, when all the children are home and light and dark ensue, it will be fine. The Mommy will just send the children to their rooms or friends houses and light will return.

And all will be good in the household with the children that Mommy created. Because the Daddy will be home for the summer, too.

But the Mommy, giving it some thought said, there has to be something more.

And so began the GNO.

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