Today I’m supposed to take my son to the Detroit Zoo for his end of the year, kindergarten field trip. I’m excited. I’ve always enjoyed going to the zoo. Except, I was reminded that we don’t have elephants anymore. I loved the elephants. Oh and I won’t be visiting the gorillas, they have gross me out ever since I was on a field trip with my Brownie troop in early elementary and saw them puking and eating it. That didn’t make for a lifetime of loving them. I actually dry heave at the memory.
It’s going to be almost 90 degrees today. That is fricking hot.
I have nothing to wear.
Seriously.
I watched my daughter have a temper tantrum this morning because she couldn’t find, out of all her drawers of cute clothes, anything to wear. I’m looking at her and I’m yelling evil things because it’s early, I woke up to her pissiness and I’m amazed and horrified at her behavior. But really? I’m thinking and feeling exactly what she is carrying on about.
I have nothing to wear. Let alone to wear to the zoo.
I have gotten so big that my arms are the size of a thigh. A FAT thigh.
I’m mortified. I’m uncomfortable. And I want to have a temper tantrum and cry and scream.
I feel betrayed by my thyroid. I mean, it’s part of my body so how could it have not known to not mess with my weight? Make my feet grow larger. Thin my hair out a bit. But to keep packing on the pounds to the point that I am embarrassed to leave my house?
I just want to lay in my bed and sob and kick my feet and scream.
But instead, I have to put on a short sleeve shirt that my thigh arms hang from because, well, it’s WAY too hot to wear long sleeves. And a pair of capris with my calves swollen to the size of an elephant trunk. And I have to take my son to the zoo with the rest of the class and their skinny moms.
I’m going to be self conscious and insecure the whole time.
I love the zoo. I hate feeling like I’m going to be mistaken for an elephant that was left behind.
Sometimes I look at kids throwing tantrums and I think ‘that looks really cathartic. I wish I could do that’
.-= Molly´s last blog ..My cousin =-.
I feel like that all the time, and I don’t have the excuse of my thyroid revolting against me. I’m just lazy.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Eyjafjallajokull* erupted in the bathroom at work. =-.
Not so sure they’re all skinny, girl. And you’re not alone.
.-= TeacherMommy´s last blog ..new =-.
Fat??? Is your brain fat? Is your personality fat? Because in the end, that’s what people are going to remember about you. How smart you are. What a lovely person you are. What you (temporarily) look ;like is not as important as Who. You. Are. And you are Melissa – and you are amazing.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Tuesday Tale – Blocked =-.
I’m in a panic on an almost daily basis over what to wear. I do not like the heat and having to wear less. I love to hide under sweaters and jackets and scarves. Not happening in the summer. Gorillas eating their own puke? Ugh.
.-= MomZombie´s last blog ..I’ve got red on me =-.
According to your “moi” page you are a sex goddess….and have you ever seen a skinny sex goddess? Even in antiquity they were depicted as well formed figures…remember that!
If you have “nothing to wear” and feel that you need to…get yourself a T-shirt with the traffic warning sign for “Dangerous curves”…:-)
I am sure that you are the only one who view you as “fat”…girls seem to have a weird view of themselves some time…the more there is to fondle, the more there is to love!
All the best, take care and may all your days be happy and successful…and remember, kids do grow up…
The old fool in paradise
.-= Jake Coolman´s last blog ..Rock and Drool =-.
Dude. I know that feeling well and I won’t be all “people don’t judge you” because they do. Just try and remember that no one is as harsh a critic as you are. I love you juuuusstttt the way you are. And you WILL lose it. I swear. It’s not your fault.
If getting ridiculously fat after having three babies has taught me anything it’s this: I will never judge a fat person again.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..The Girl With Curls Like A Halo Kicks MY Ass =-.