My children have been very lucky. They have been sheltered from and have had no experience with death. No loved ones, no pets(aside from goldfish), not even a houseplant(that cactus the I overwatered doesn’t count). Everyone and everything that my kids hold close and dear are still here. Perhaps it’s my fault. Maybe not.
Like I said, they are lucky.
Through the natural course of life, loss is something everyone deals with. Some deaths are more easily accepted and expected than others. Namely elder and ailing relatives and pets, of course. Those who have hopefully lived a long and fulfilled life.
Today proved there is no such thing as a natural course. And unfortunately, this had to be my daughters (and the rest of my childrens) first touch with someone dying…and way too young.
My daughters 12 year old friend had been bravely and fiercely battling cancer for a few years. But, her little body lost the fight today. She died in her home at 1pm.
Twelve years old. And gone.
My daughter is a wreck and so are her friends. A dear friend has died from a violent and ugly disease. She doesn’t have any clue how to wrap her brain around this and make sense of it. She knows and understands death through things she has heard. But, like I said, she never experienced it first hand. She also never expected to be mourning the loss of a wonderful, sweet little friend.
She was hit, way too hard, with a dose of life’s reality that death doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care what you look like, how old you are, who your family is, how much money you have…nothing. We are all vulnerable to deaths whim. Whether you are expecting it or not. That is such a sad reality for kids. It’s more nightmare inducing than Freddy Kruger because it’s the real thing. It can really happen. Even to children.
Today, my daughter mourns deeply for the loss of her friend. But she also is partially mourning for the loss of the innocent belief that living a long and happy life doesn’t exist for everyone and there is no way to know who isn’t going to be so lucky.
One thing that she realized on this sad day is that people should appreciate what they have and enjoy it. As cliche as this sounds(although not to my daughter)…you never know when it’s going to be over.
So from my daughter and the rest of our family to all of you, my wonderful friends and readers…Live. Laugh. Love. Make every second count. For real. Because, well, you just never know.
I’ll be thinking about your daughter. I didn’t lose someone close to me until I was 27, so I can’t imagine what she’s going through at 12.
Melisa with one S (PH) says
I’m so sorry. I’m hearing about children losing battles much too often lately, I’m afraid…
.-= Melisa with one S (PH)´s last blog ..Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice… =-.
I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to all of you. (((hugs)))
.-= TeacherMommy´s last blog ..No Escape From Reality =-.
My heart just breaks when this happens. Why do/How do kids get such ugly diseases??? I can never wrap my brain around this.
My thoughts are with you and your daughter as she learns to cope with this and of course to the family of the young girl that lost her battle. 🙁
My heart goes out to your daughter. Such a hard thing to learn at such a young age. Such a hard thing to endure, at such a young age. Such a hard thing – at any age.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Oh Love – A prayer =-.
Scary Mommy says
So horribly sad. Life is just so fucking scary. I’m so sorry.
Tara R. says
I am so sorry for your daughter and her friend’s family. Much, much too young…
.-= staciesmadness´s last blog ..HOLY CATS. =-.
This is one of those times that we want to wrap a cloak of protectivness around our children to shield them from the pain of harsh reality. But we can’t do do that unfortunately. My grandfather passed when I was eleven, and while that was hard, to me he was “old” and it kinda made sense. But when I was in high school one of my friends was killed in an accident. Over 20 years later and we still mourn her loss and it still does not make sense. The young should not have to die. I’m so sorry for your daughter. I’ll say a prayer for her, and her friend, and the family. I think that is all we can do.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..A good night’s sleep =-.
The saddest thing ever is when our children loose their innocence to the death of someone they loved. It makes me sad for her and her friends. I wish you the best in helping her through it.
Major hugs to your daughter. I was 16 when I lost a peer and the enormity of it all kicked my ass.
But it’s true. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
.-= Jill´s last blog ..For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)* =-.
The always father says
Death is part of the cycle of life, and it comes to all. As a dear friend has said,”No one gets out of here alive.” The tragedy is when it comes too soon, and when it comes to someone who has not yet really lived. It is also a tragedy when the loss is felt by people who are also so young themselves.
There is no “good” way to explain it or to try to comfort the bereaved. I will leave that for the psychologists and psychiatrists in the blogosphere. As a parent, all you can try to do is to hold your kid and hug him/her and try to reassure them that this is a release from horrible pain and from terrible suffering by both the victim and the parents.
The worst imaginable horror is for the child to die before the parent.
As much as my thoughts and prayers are for Emmy, they are also for the parents and family of the poor infant who died.
I can not imagine the loss, and I hope that I never have to face it.
Aunt Becky says
My heart hurts. I’m so sorry.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky, The Lost Years =-.
Stacey @Real World Mom says
I’m 42, and I can’t wrap my mind around tragedies like this either. No one should have to suffer with the devastation called cancer, let alone a baby. My heart aches for Haley’s family and yours.
.-= Stacey @Real World Mom´s last blog ..Tragedy =-.