Dear Arrogant Prick at Bruggers Bagels and all the other arrogant pricks in the world,
In my Kingdom, there are a few types of people. There are the Royals, the Serfs and some variations on those themes.
In my Kingdom, we treat people with kindness and respect regardless of race, color, religion and socio-ecomomic standing. And for those in my Kingdom who don’t understand what that means, we treat EVERYONE with respect. Serf. Royals. It doesn’t matter.
In my Kingdom, you were standing in line in front of me, waiting to place your bagel order. My nose, eyes and ears burned due to your better-than superior attitude and flippant disregard for people and feelings, particularly towards the lovely young woman behind the counter who was unfortunate enough to have take your bagel order without a please or thank you and a horrible attitude. It was a disgusting display of arrogance. It’s people like you, with the manners of farm animals, that make me sick. Sadly, you aren’t an isolated incident. There are way too many of you flipping about.
In my Kingdom, I am putting into effect a new law. It’s very simply called…The Manners Law. You must say please and thank you to others. You must treat people with respect, at least to their faces and in public. Even if you feel like it might actually make your own face crack open. Even if it makes you feel like your going to spew vomit and blood.
If you are caught in my Kingdom without using your manners, you will be placed on a farm where you belong. With other pigs in a mud bath. With fat cows, chewing their cud. Donkeys, goats, sheep.
Although, you aren’t even in the same league with real farm animals because they are instinctual and really…not rude.
You, Mr. Arrogant Prick, and others that are like you…are just assholes I have to sadly share my Kingdom and my air with.