*Raises hand and waves wildly* Call on me!! Call on me!!
Oh, I totally have something to say in response to her and her in regards to kids in public AND breastfeeding in public.
I have five kids. I gave birth to three of them. I breastfed in public. But…I covered up. I don’t want you to see mine anymore than I want to look at yours. I’m totally a believer in feeding your kids wherever you need to, however you need to. Meaning bottle or breast. Just use common courtesy and respect those people around you. Cover up.
Taking kids in public? Well yeah, they should be allowed in public. No argument there. But if I’m out to dinner at a five star or even three star restaurant and you are there with your kid who is throwing spitballs and having a mini food fight while you’re whisper-yelling at him…then go away. Take your food home in a doggy bag, throw your kid in the car and leave the other diners who came to celebrate various personal milestones while their children are home under the watchful babysitters eye, in peace. Because they aren’t staring at you in admiration of your curly haired she/he-devil. They are trying to send you message via the stink eye that your child is causing gastro-intestinal upset.
Movies. If your baby is screaming and crying at a 9:30 pm movie, leave. So sorry your babysitter cancelled. Catch the movie next weekend when she can show up. A disappointment of parenthood, sometimes your sitter cancels on highly anticipated and looked-forward to date nights. Shit happens and then you move on. But don’t take it out on the entire population of the sold out movie of Avatar.
If a child (of any age) can’t behave appropriately for a particular situation then they need to be removed from that environment immediately if not sooner. Period. Otherwise, pay us all back for our ruined dinners/movies etc.
In conclusion, cover up your boobies. Also, make your children behave or take them home. Period.
I’m with you on both. With the BFing, though, I think you get credit for just trying to cover up. I was the world’s most awkward breastfeeder, and I’m sure plenty of people saw more than they wanted or needed to. What I was more self conscious of was my daughter’s super-loud sucking sound, though. But how do you tell a one-month-old not to slurp? 🙂
As for public places, we’ve only taken our kids to family friendly restaurants, packed with other screaming kids. In these situations, I’ll usually try to exhaust all options (timeouts, bribery, stink eye) before leaving. But I have left a couple of times when it was clear one of my kid’s behavior was not going to change. In general, they’re awesome in public, though (sometimes better than they are at home). I’m only mildly annoyed by other people’s crying kids when I’m out. In fact, a good 5-alarm tantrum from a kid who isn’t mine and I don’t have to deal with warms my heart a little. But seriously, why do so many people take infants and toddlers out at 9 pm??? That just baffles me.
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Breastfeeding and surprisingly strong emotions, Part 2 =-.
I breastfed both kids, the 2nd one more successfully than the first. I fed my baby anywhere. I tried my best to cover up but hated using those breastfeeding shawls or whatever you call them. So yeah, someone may have seen part of my breast. So what? You see more in a Victoria’s Secret ad on t.v. Really!
Hello! Found your blog from TMC.
Lets see…I have four kids and never breast fed any of them so I should probably not comment, although I do agree that no matter what, please cover up.
There is no way The Husband and I could ever take the kids to a 3-5 star restaurant or movie. Our kids are brats, we know this. McDonalds all the way!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Uncontrollable, Unexplainable Fear =-.
AMEN SISTER!!! 🙂
I love you.
I completely agree with you. I don’t have kids but I’m all for breastfeeding if it’s what you choose as a parent. However, I’m not all for seeing your boobs.
And if I’m paying for a meal nicer than McDonalds, I don’t want to see your kids peeking over the booth at me picking their nose or crying because they want a red crayon and you only brought blue and orange (kudos for actually bringing something to play with, but if it’s not enough take them outside!).
.-= Megan´s last blog ..The Cab Ride =-.
I respectfully disagree! I nurse Avery in public and while I usually use a cover for HER comfort (not anyone else’s) sometimes I forget one. It’s easy to nurse discreetly without using a big cover. I have never been confronted about nursing in public but maybe that’s because I am discreet. I only get smiles from other women when they see me do it. Either way, BREAST ON!
Oh, and while you may not nurse in public I hope that you aren’t conservative about showing your tits once we get some cocktails in you.
My wife is a highly discreet breastfeeder, using the “Peek-a-boob” shirts and other breastfeeding shirts. One time a friend was staring at our son, and then suddenly clued in that he was breastfeeding! “Oh, uh… sorry for staring, I really was just looking at your baby! Didn’t even realize!”
Shawls, blankets, or other excessive cover-up like that… unnecessary, inconvenient, and frankly more conspicuous than just doing it ‘right’.
Totally agree about the public outings, though. When I’m out with my wife and NO child, I definitely don’t want anything more than ‘acceptable’ complaint-noises from other people’s children. All-out tantrums in a movie? Hell no.
.-= Greg´s last blog ..The First Restaurant Outing =-.
Zoey @ Good Goog says
Given the amount of boob displayed by women NOT breastfeeding I can’t help but think this uncomfortability is more to do with seeing the act of breastfeeding than the minuscule amount of breast that is exposed when you are nursing in public.
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Potty Training – Can’t Somebody Else Do It? =-.
I breastfed in public but I always wore big shirts and tucked the baby up underneath. I tried their little baby blankets but they just kept falling off and I’m just not coordinated enough for all that. But I was always covered up. Mainly because I was frozen to death all the time
The tantrum thing. We don’t go out to expensive restaurants period. one because Applebee’s is the highest end thing we have, and 2 we can’t afford it anyway. We very occasionally take the kids, but more often than not one of us has to take a kid outside while the other one finishes dinner with the other kid. Early on we had a couple of tantrums in walmart but once they learned that I’m not buying them a toy every time they go, they got over it. I still try not to go by myself with both of them though. I don’t know how in the world you handle five. I’d be insane.
But mostly if I see a kid having a tantrum, I just feel sorry for everyone involved because it’s just so awful to be stuck with a crying kid while you’re in the middle of the checkout line and half your stuff is on the conveyor.
.-= Janet´s last blog ..Decompression =-.
Tara R. says
I agree on both counts. Parents who take their kids out to movies or nice restaurants, and those kids are out of control, can’t be enjoying their evening either.
I breastfed both of my kids in public too. I did cover up, but that was more for my benefit than anyone who might notice what I was doing. I never had anyone confront me for nursing in public.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Morning juice… =-.
Aunt Crazy says
I agree. My husband is (for reason’s I can’t explain) is terribly uncomfortable when a woman is breastfeeding, EVEN if she and baby are covered. He’s strange, I know this LOL
Many times we have had to leave somewhere because our kids were misbehaving. it happens, people need to suck it up and be considerate of others around them and I think so many people aren’t, they just don’t care to be concerned with other people at all. Sad really.
.-= Aunt Crazy´s last blog ..Fruit and flowers OH MY =-.
Janice @ Mom On The Run says
AGREED! Though covering up is easier said than done – especially when breastfeeding an 18 month old…
As for going out in public – my kids are 4 and almost 3 (and no, I’m not still breastfeeding – thankfully she gave that up when I introduced her to chocolate milk) I don’t go anywhere – not even McDonald’s because my kids are wild animals!
I agree on all those points. My wife breastfed and covered up. My kids behave in public or we leave. I will not be that parent who brings their kids to any place and let them run around like wild monkeys unless it is a place for children to do just that. If it’s at night and our babysitter hasn’t cancelled, I have zero tolerance. During the day though, I’m much more lenient and understanding. At first… 😉
I only wish there were more parents conscious of these things.
better late than never says
YES! To all! My girls are teenagers now, so babysitters aren’t an issue, but we’ve been there. I do NOT want to listen to other kids scream and holler while I am trying to have a nice date with my hubby. Darn it! Please control your children!
Another Suburban Mom says
I was usually pretty discreet about about the breastfeeding, although I would go to the ladies lounge of the Lord & Taylor’s at the mall, because they had these big, comfy couches and nurse there, rather than in the hard ass seats of the food court, because Veronica likes her comfort.
As far as restaurants I go by the linen rule. If they have linen tablecloths, than it is not an appropriate place for my four year old. Period. We do fine with The Olive Garden, Bertucci’s, Outback, Bugaboo Creek and our local Chinese Buffet.
.-= Another Suburban Mom´s last blog ..HNT Relaxing =-.
My thoughts exactly! A little bit of compassion as well as respect for others can go a long way.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..Savoring Spring =-.
I agree about restaurants! I have 2 kids under 5 and I don’t take them to many restaurants. If we feel adventurous we go at 5:30. I feel if people are paying money to eat in a nice place I don’t want my kids to disturb them. And for purely selfish reasons, I won’t enjoy MY meal if my kids are not behaving. Not many young kids have the patience to sit quietly and wait for their meal. They are kids, and I think a nice restaurant isn’t the place for them. But there definitely are places I would take them to eat – other than fast food. I think it all depends on the place, the kid, and the parent. As for covering up, I disagree. The baby needs to eat, the mom should be able to breast feed it. If covering up works for some – great. It doesn’t work for everyone, and women shouldn’t have to cover up like it’s a dirty secret. If people are uncomfortable they should look away. I live in a place where – last time I heard – women are free to go topless, so breastfeeding without a cover is not a problem. Breasts are for feeding babies, so what’s the big deal? Just my opinion. Love your blog! (sent from my phone sorry for typos)