Child support, as defined by a few sites on the internet:
# In family law and government policy, child support or child maintenance is the ongoing obligation for a periodic payment made directly or indirectly by an (“obligor”) to an (“obligee”) for the financial care and support of children of a relationship or marriage that has been terminated…
# Child support is money parents pay for the care, support, and education for their child. It may include a monthly court ordered amounts for basic support, child care support, and medical support.
# Payment of money for a child in a divorce, paternity, or family support act proceeding. Support includes health care, and may include educational and childcare expenses.
There is a plethora of varied definitions to be found all over the internet but I’m sure you get the gist if not completely understand. But here, allow me. Basically, the ex, non-custodial parent person pays the custodial parent person money to keep, in this case, HER children clothed, fed, as well as some BASIC necessities. Easy peasy. Well, it should be.
Some women are lucky and their ex-husbands, the men who impregnated them, well, they understand the moral and financial obligation that comes with having children because they weren’t screwed up and stunted as children. And if they were, they’ve overcome it. And if they haven’t, they are somehow compensating for their shortcomings. So anyway, that parent pays regularly, the fixed amount. Not only that but, that wonderful parent goes above and beyond the call of the child support duty. They pay for…gasp…extras like baseball, hip-hop, tutors. And they don’t just expect that their measly amount of monthly support will stretch THAT far.
Me? Not so lucky. In fact, not only did I get a shit-heel of an ex-husband. But he’s an even shittier OBLIGOR. And really? Running full speed, face first into a wall of spikes will probably get me further than trying to explain reason and sanity to my ex. FRUSTRATING!!
For YEARS I had to take the donor of sperm to court to enforce payments. YEARS. Threats of bench warrants and jail had to be made by the Friend of the Court to him, in order to get him to see the seriousness of the situation and scare him into writing that check. Because he feels no particular obligation. In all honesty, that’s not completely his fault, we can blame his parents. BUT…get the fuck over it. 44 years old. Grow the heck up, get a set of balls and look your responsibilities in the blue and green eyes.
His arrearage multiplied quickly because, for over a year, he refused to pay child support. But now, and gee am I lucky, he pays every month. Plus an additional $80/month to buy down his year of non-payments. An extra $80/month really cuts into that mountain of money…
He still owes me a SHITLOAD.
But now? Our daughter is going to have her Bat Mitzvah in October. I told him that he needs to help pay for the small party because it shouldn’t be my husband…the Step-Father’s…responsibility. Or, he won’t be on the A list. Fair ’nuff?!
Wanna know the response? Yeah well, apparently my ex thinks that a)the arrearage…the past child support that he NEVER paid, for a WHOLE FLIPPING YEAR, the he OWES…should be his contribution to the Bat Mitzvah fund and b)he has to pay the arrearage because he needs his passport. It seems that he is going to flee the country before 2012 because he believes in every single conspiracy theory known to mankind. Can you say “whack job”?! But I digress…
I’m so confused. Because from my little corner of the 7 Acre Woods, arrearage and money to pay for a Bat Mitzvah are two totally different entities. Entirely. Or is it me that doesn’t get it? I mean, c’mon. Apples and oranges.
Also? If someone was leaving the country for the 2012 Apocalypse, I’m curious as to where he’d be going. I mean, did he NOT see the movie 2012? There is nowhere to run and hide. If it’s going to be the end then that means a passport sure as hell is not going to save you.
So, you might as well pay the arrearage. Pitch in for your only daughters Bat Mitzvah. And die in the fire-y pits of Apocalyptic hell like the rest of us.