Meet our new dog Oscar. Oscar is a Silky Terrier that we bought at a…gasp…mall pet store. He had just been marked down because, for whatever reason, no one had bought him for the two months that he sat and pooped behind that display glass. So we, the pet suckers, saw him, held him and bought him.
He’s a cute little guy. Sweet and hyper, just the way a new puppy should be. He fits in well with the five cats, our other dog, 2 turtles and 5 kids and is learning to acclimate into our home with their expert tutelage and guidance.
He’s learning how to eat, sleep and poop like the pros. But the most important lesson that he is learning, and I’m sure it’s from every single creature in the house is…
Don’t listen to the Mommy.
I’m pretty sure that my kids, cats, dog and turtles, each individually, have taken Oscar aside and explained that he should love on the Mom, kiss on the Mom, look the Mom in the eye…
And then, do whatever you want. It’s all part of the house training curriculum.
I’m sure of it. Because that’s what they all do. So why not Oscar too?!
I’m also sure that they’ve stressed the fact that whatever the Dad says, he is to do. Without question and without hesitation, on command and on demand because Daddy. Is. The. Big. Boss.
And Mommy? She’s cute but it’s OK if you let her take you outside for a long walk in the rain and don’t do your business. Because you should wait until she takes you, dripping wet, upstairs in her room. And while she is drying her hair and wiping off the mascara that is dripping down her face, then you should take a big dump(or as big as a 6 pound dog can make) and release your bladder onto her bedroom floor.
Yep, he’s a smart dog, that one. Catching onto and learning the program here in our house.
Daddy equals Boss. Mommy equals…yeah, whatever.